Of Mice and Boys

September 21, 2007

WARNING: This post will not do good things for you if you are squeamish in any way, shape, or form. Pregnant and nauseous? You may want to think twice about continuing down this page. Hate talk about blood? Skip it. Don’t like cruelty to animals….even mice? Come back later.

Not trying to be nasty. Just warnin’ ya.

So. Last night, we were on the edge of our seats, finding out about CHET and BIFF (see post titled “Bedtime Reading” if you don’t understand what’s happening so far), when our oldest child ran upstairs and pronounced excitedly that the mouse that we suspected had moved in during our vacation absence, had just been seen running back and forth across the basement floor. Basically, the little rat was sticking out its tongue, thumbs in ears and fingers wiggling, saying “Na na nee boo boo” as he ran, leaving little mouse pellets for us all to see and cringe over. Don’t know about you, but Mommy don’t play that game. And since Daddy was conveniently gone on an important errand (i.e. getting the steak sandwich I had been madly craving for the last 8 HOURS!!!), Mommy had to set the trap for the offending creature. Since we were out of peanut butter, which is the ONLY thing that works on the snap-type traps, I set out a sticky trap. Initially, this kind of trap sounds like a really great invention, until you realize that when you catch the nasty mouse, IT WILL STILL BE ALIVE AND YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT……with 8 small children looking on. Early this morning, the boy-types downstairs, could be heard using stage whispers to say things like:
“We GOT him!” and
“He’s IN there!” and
“Boy, he made a lot of icky!”

And then came the thundering noise of 3 boys pounding up the stairs to tell me the happy, nauseating news. Accompanying it was the equally stomach-turning report that he was apparently chewing off his leg to try and free himself. (Understanding the warning message at the start of this post now, huh?) Everyone wanted to know what my plan was for disposing of him, and I just couldn’t tell them that, secretly, I had been hoping that he had packed up and left in the night, after sweeping up his little mouse pellets. (I am good at denial when it comes to animals in my house that don’t use litter boxes). So I did what any strong, confident, hugely-able mother of 8 would do……..I called my husband and asked HIM what to do. Actually, I whined and gasped into the phone, and was pretty much a wimp about the whole thing, but I will deny that if you ask me about it.

Anyway, my husband gave me the solution, and I am certain that my boys will remember it for the rest of their days. One day, they will tell their great-grandchildren about the time their dad instructed them to place a sticky trap with a tiny, helpless mouse inside, on a fence post and open fire on the poor little thing. (See how my attitude about the mouse just changed there? I know. It just doesn’t make sense….even to me! Something about firearms against weak, otherwise annoying critters) And they’ll tell how the cute little thing was trying mightily to get away, and fell off the post initially, but then was put back up by a brother, and how the BB gun-owner then lined up his shot, took a deep breath, pulled the trigger, and ended that poor thing’s life on the first shot. And enjoyed it immensely.

If you’re thinking right now that we don’t get out much, and that our boys do not enjoy the things that “normal” boys do, like Xbox and movies and girls, you would be right.

And I just don’t seem to have a problem with that.

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2 Responses to “Of Mice and Boys”

  1. Palmetto Boy said

    Good for you!!!

  2. mindy said

    Ha! I can just picture the whole thing! This sounds like it could have happened at OUR house!

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