Confessions

October 4, 2007

Okay. Here’s the deal. I’m going to embarrass myself in this post.

Yesterday was our shopping day for the month. Here’s one thing you should know about me. I am continually on a quest for cheaper groceries. It is an obsession. The word “rabid” could also be used, but it just doesn’t possess positive conotations.

If you have been a regular reader for awhile, you know the whole Walmart/Aldi saga. I really can’t stand Walmart. The quality to which they have stooped is despicable. And I’m really tired of needing a shower every time I come out of that place. It is a filthy, disgusting store, in my opinion, and one that I was trying desperately to get away from by searching for an alternative. I thought I had found it in Aldi. I was wrong. Although they have great prices, they only have about 1/3 of the stuff I need. And some of their items are seasonal, which does not sit well with me. No, I’m not being a demanding snob. When I talk about seasonal items at Aldi, I don’t mean blow-up Santas or mangoes or even egg nog. Apparently, at Aldi, seasonal items are things like vegetable oil and shortening. You think I’m joking. (WHERE would you get that idea?!) I’m not. So I lost my Aldi Enchantment, since I was having to add Walmart to the monthly grocery-getting just to cover everything, including those Freaky Seasonal Items.

Yesterday, continuing my quest for cheaper, cheaper, CHEAPER, I decided to check out our commissary, which is the military equivalent of the local grocery store. They claim to be 30% cheaper than all other grocery stores. I was slightly skeptical, but willing to try it because of the aforementioned obsession I possess. To be fair, they have pretty cool buggies and excellent produce. That is about all I can say about the experience. We had to fight our way down every aisle because of the number of people there, AND the narrowness of the aisles, and, oh yeah, the fact that I had 8 children with me. Then, the jumbo boxes of dry milk I normally buy at Walmart, didn’t exist at the commissary, and tuna was $.60 a can! Do they have gold fillings in their tuna-teeth? It got worse. The choice of wipe varieties irritated me. The veterans with the black socks pulled up to their knees and their velcro tennis shoes and their glares annoyed me because I’m NOT on ANY social programs that would give them the right to look at me like they’re having to support all these annoying brats that SHOULD be in school! (Their thoughts, not mine, for my children reading this.) And the line! Oh, the line! There is no self checkout in the military because that would make sense. AND you have to tip these people to take your groceries out to your car because they don’t allow grocery carts outside, even though I have 16 hands along with me that can carry the groceries for FREE! So we ended up getting halfway through the store, with me getting madder and madder down every aisle, and finally abandoning a half-filled cart to RUN to………you guessed it……WALMART! And I am deeply ashamed to admit this, but as we were walking through the parking lot of Walmart, with all the children trailing behind me, I stopped, turned to them all, and shouted……

“I LOVE WALMART!”

I TOLD you I’m a pathetic human being!

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3 Responses to “Confessions”

  1. Susan said

    Well guess what “I LOVE WALMART TOO”

  2. mindy said

    Think of the TIME it saves you to go to Walmart!!! Didn’t someone say that time is money??? :o)

  3. happygeek said

    Gold fillings in their tuna-teeth? You really are hilarious!

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