The Cough Drop Post

October 28, 2007

I was thinking yesterday, as I lay in bed sucking happily on my cherry cough drops, how nice it was to be able to suck on cherry cough drops. Because here is something weird about my childhood. My mom absolutely FORBADE (not plain ‘ole “forbade”) me to even LOOK at cough drops, much less actually place one into my mouth. Horrors! I really don’t know what the deal was. It is quite possible that she may have told me that if I ate them like candy, then they wouldn’t be helpful when I actually needed them. You know, kinda like oxygen…….don’t use it unless you absolutely HAVE to, or it won’t be helpful when you REALLY need it. The only problem with her cough drop rationale, however, was that she has NEVER, EVER, and I mean EVER given me one in my entire life, and I’m 38 whole years old!!!!!

I can remember very specifically one day when I arrived home from school, after procuring the forbidden item of suckage from a friend whose mother allowed her a whole nifty little TIN of them, with the top that opened and shut with a click, and after you had sucked all the cough drops away, you could use it for cool little things that you found, and I think that must be why I have a weird little fascination with small containers……BUT ANYWAY. I remember standing on the door step, with my mom holding the door open, welcoming me home, and me suddenly realizing that the tasty little morsel in my mouth had not dissolved all the way home and I was now standing there, IN FRONT OF MY MOM, with the Satan-drop in my mouth, and my breath smelling sweetly of cherry cough drop. And she got mad at me because I was sucking on a cough drop that was supposed to be saved only for coughing emergencies that never happened the entire time I lived at home. Gasp! I think she would have preferred instead if I had come home dragging a boy who had a pack of Camels rolled up in his sleeve, and taken him back to my room and shut the door. AS LONG AS THERE WERE NO COUGH DROPS!!!!! (Of course I must be fair and say that this scenario with the boy is an exaggeration of massive proportions on my part because when I was at that stage in my life, I was 5′ 10″ tall, and weighed, like, 62 pounds.)

So my mom will be horrified to know that now, in my adult life, I buy cough drops by the case, and suck on them WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT, and EVEN WHEN I DON’T HAVE A COUGH……..just because I CAN! And I just know, deep in the recesses of my psyche, that if she HAD given me a cough drop every year or so growing up, I may not HAVE to buy them by the case now and lie in bed sucking away with a big grin on my face like a complete idiot.

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15 Responses to “The Cough Drop Post”

  1. Nina said

    You’re so funny. My Mom didn’t have anything against cough drops BUT after I once choked briefly on a Lifesaver, my parents forbade hard candy in the house EVER AGAIN and instilled in me such a fear of watching someone choke to death that I only recently started letting Sissy have hard candy and Peanut has never had a piece in her life.
    It may also be the reason I almost came through the monitor screen when I read that you were LYING IN BED sucking on cough drops!! What have you got, a death wish?!?

  2. Allison said

    Okay, Lifesavers were made w/ the hole in the middle so that people WOULDN’T choke on them. So I’m not sure that your berating me for sucking cough drops in bed is really valid. And, just to add even more horror to your horror, I suck on them AS I FALL ASLEEP. Yep. So if I don’t blog for a few days, I guess you’ll know that I died of cough-drop-chokage, and then my mom will be able to say “I told you so”.
    Hey, thanks for commenting! I usually don’t get time to comment in response to the comments, but I am waiting until my husband is in his coma-like sleep before I go lie down next to him, break open the cough drop bag, and suck away. Don’t laugh. I wouldn’t have to do this if my mom had let me have cough drops as a child. Is there a support group for this?

  3. mindy said

    I had the same thought as Nina–you’re sucking on them lying DOWN? Yikes!
    And I’ve known a little girl who choked on a Lifesaver.
    Just had to put those two things in. Helpful, aren’t I? :o)

  4. Nina said

    Mindy,
    I don’t know if your comment helped Allison, but it sure made ME feel better! :o)

  5. Nina said

    By the way, I’m still trying to get rid of the video replaying in my mind, of a woman with very vague features cause I have no idea what she looks like, lying in bed drifting off to sleep, which causes all her muscles including the throat ones to relax,creating a nice clear pathway for the coughdrop to slide down and wedge itself tightly inside her TRACHEA.
    Oxygen deprivation does cause her to wake up but all she can do is make feeble little wheezy noises that don’t even come close to waking up the only person who could have helped her except for the fact that she waited until he was in a COMA-LIKE SLEEP before she played this little game of Coughdrop Roulette!!

    Just wanted you to know. :o)

  6. Mother said

    A-HAH! I have been vindicated! (Thank you very much ladies.) The other nice young ladies who read your blog do, I believe, understand the dangers in store for people who lie in bed and SUCK ON HARD CANDY OR COUGH DROPS! Goodness knows, Allison, we’ve had you with us for thirty-something years – I’d hate to lose you to, as you quaintly put it, cough-drop-chokage. Stay with us a while longer, won’t you please? 🙂 🙂 Besides, NOW you know how to stop that coughing withOUT cough drops –
    but then . . . that’s a whole ‘nother blog. 🙂

  7. Allison said

    It’s amazing. It’s only Sunday afternoon, and Nina has officially and already won the Drama Queen award for this week! I’m impressed! Good for you! There is no prize….just the inner satisfaction of being so ridiculously dramatic, that even I noticed and rolled my eyes.

    And just so you and my supposed best friend, Mindy, know…..I NEVER sleep on my back!!!! Since I have been pregnant for, like, 32 of the 38 years of my life, I have perfected the fine art of side-sleeping….even on both of the months each century that I am NOT pregnant. So there! Try to think of a witty reply to THAT, you Drama Queen, you. (See? That kinda feels good, doesn’t it? You’re welcome.)

  8. Allison said

    Mom, so basically you’re trying to say that you got mad at me for sucking on cough drops AT SCHOOL from friends WHO LOVED ME because you were afraid I would choke on them there? Lying down? And where exactly would that happen at school? Sounds noble and all, but no dice. Try again please. And this time, don’t try and pit, even further, the “nice ladies who read my blog,” against me. That’s so lame.=)

  9. Kristen said

    Wow. I am completely amazed at all the thoughts that you all have though about cough drops. My line of thinking is usually “Are these gonna be good or gross?” However, I do remember a certain fascination with sucrets when I was younger. Strangely enough, they did absolutely NOTHING for my cough, but they were lots of fun!!

  10. Nina said

    1.Wet, slick coughdrops slide down wet, slick throats no matter WHICH way you’re lying
    2. If your pregnancy remarks were an attempt to go toe-to-toe with the reigning Drama Queen, I got news for you. You lose. Everything I said could actually happen.
    3. Do your husband a favor and make sure he knows that when you do die from ‘as you so quaintly put it – “cough-drop chokage” ‘, he can probably score a couple hundred grand from the cough drop company if there’s no warning on the package that specifically says you should not use them while sleeping.
    4. Your Mom is WAY cool.
    5. I’m going to really try to let this be my last comment on the subject. But no promises. 🙂

  11. Lori said

    The comments for this blog post was equally as good, if not better, than the post itself. I’m sure the people around me here at the library are wondering why the funny lady at computer 44 is snorting and crying.

    And further more…if you have no notion of self-preservation insisting on the suckeling of cough drops while you are falling into deep slumbers, then for crying out loud have some compassion on that unborn child’s soul that you are carrying. 😉

  12. Lori said

    Please excuse my grammar on that last post – after all I are only a highschool ‘grad-U-8’.

  13. Mother said

    You caught onto that, huh? Well, they ARE nice young ladies because they read your blog! 🙂 Just be careful though. I mean, if you die of cough-drop-chokage, WHO will take over your Olive Plants blog? Noone ELSE could solicit as much feedback as you have while blogging about . . . . COUGH DROPS (for goodness sake)! I think we all need to get OUT more! Thrift stores, anyone? 🙂

  14. Kristen said

    13 comments on COUGH DROPS! I seriously think someone need to check with the Genus (Sp???) Book of World records. Maybe we could have one set on “longest conversation about cough drops ever”. I am starting to get paranoid. I never gave them a thought before and now I am thinking about all these warnings! Will I ever be able to eat a cough drop again?????

  15. Nina said

    You’re on, Mom!

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