This Morning

November 8, 2007

Today was our day out for the month, when we hit up Walmart for the groceries that Sam’s didn’t have, and then invade all the thrift stores we can manage. I try to make this a fun time, and the children usually look forward to this day, but the thing is, it just started off badly. Here is why……

1. The 2-year-old woke up with diarrhea up the back of her sleeper, down the backs of her thighs, down the front of her sleeper, up her tummy, down to her ankles……..would telling you that I even checked between her toes convey the horror of the diaper situation that began our day? And she doesn’t bend when she is in this condition, so getting her to lie down and offer up her nether-regions for wiping was like trying to carry an eight-foot tall man who died last week down 4 flights of winding stairs.

2. The Sears lady called to ask if I would like to extend the warranties on every Sears appliance we own. This one doesn’t sound like it should’ve ruined my morning, but you have to factor in two things here: 1) these people call us at least once a week to try to get us to throw more money at them, WHICH WE NEVER AGREE TO, and 2) she had an 80s Valley Girl accent. “Like, your warranties are totally out of date, and you should, like, TOTALLY get new ones.” And you could just imagine her flicking her very tall hair back over her shoulder, and adjusting her leg warmers. Plus, the whole thing just made me feel like I was 92 years old. Like, totally.

3. The trash men didn’t come to empty our dumpster. The one that was overflowing LAST week with old barn roof pieces. The one that we haven’t been able to properly fill with actual household trash because it was already completely full 2 days after the trash men came to empty it last time, and 12 days before another emptying was supposed to happen. Which was today. And it didn’t happen. And I was so counting on using it for, you know, REGULAR trash again! Which is what it’s for! I’ve spent too long on this one, haven’t I? Let’s move on.

4. The 3-year-old and the 5-year-old picked this morning to fight over who should’ve closed the dresser drawers when they got their clothes out, and who gets to go down the stairs first, and whose doll that actually is, and which one got to flush the potty by herself, and which one was responsible for pushing in the other’s chair, and who got the little-kid spoon and who got the big-kid spoon for breakfast, and who got to help the 2-year-old get her coat, and are you getting the gist of this added annoyance on a day when I needed all the children to act like they were walking and helpful coma patients?

5. I received the news, as I was cleaning up the oozing piles of diarrhea mentioned in #1, ironically enough, that the cat had been left in the van overnight, and had left a foul-smelling present on a seat. So I got to go clean that up, but I couldn’t throw it away properly because our dumpster had not been emptied!!! Did I mention that?

The rest of the day ended up better than the morning, which I was thankful for. I’m sure that the fact that I got to eat Popeye’s popcorn shrimp for lunch helped.


One Response to “This Morning”

  1. mindy said

    WOW!!! What a lovely day!

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