November 28, 2007

Just a heads-up. If you ever get the chance to be tall and pregnant, rethink! I recently spent 486 hours online, searching desperately for full-length, tall, maternity leggings to keep me warm under my dresses in the winter. They don’t exist. Anywhere. Because, apparently, if you’re tall, you won’t get pregnant! Or something like that.

And just in case you’re thinking of this…..tights don’t work for me. Because my waist is almost as tall as any female reading this that is 5’6″ or under. Seriously. So tights end halfway down my watermelon-like belly, and instead of spending each day homeschooling my children, making large meals to feed everyone who lives here, and hoping for snow, I get to use that time to pull up the tights 63 times an hour. Because I’m too tall for the tights that are made by short, thin men who think tall chicks are only good for assisting them in reaching their favorite organic cereal on the top shelf at the neighborhood grocery.

I’m a little bitter about this whole thing….can you tell? So let’s see…….a tall, pregnant, bitter, COLD mother of eight.

It’s gonna be a GREAT winter!


4 Responses to “Warning!”

  1. Tall Tightless Man said

    Boy am I looking forward to coming home tonight……

  2. happygeek said

    Could you get a pair of lightweight maternity pants and wear them under your dress? (it’s not about fashion when you’re trying to stay warm!)

  3. Susan said

    Well I guess you won’t be going anywhere this winter and I like the idea of the pants also. It will keep you warm but you won’t look the hippist. You could also try sears or Jcpenny I think they have maternity clothes for tall women.

  4. suburbancorrespondent said

    Well, the maternity pantyhose (which I use under the maternity jeans in the winter, because I need the extra warmth and support)kept rolling down my belly last pregnancy and I spent the entire last 5 months pulling them back up. And I’m 4’10”.

    And I’m sorry, it’s still better to be tall and pregnant, even if you have to knit those leggings yourself. Because you are able to breathe the last month of pregnancy. Unlike us midgets, whose lungs are squished up into the top half of our chests by the growing baby.

    Not that I’m bitter or anything…

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