The Duel

December 5, 2007

I can’t stand it anymore. An incident occurred some days ago that I have had to physically restrain myself from blogging about, but I’m going to give myself permission to write about it now. Because my husband basically has a bet against me that every male in the universe will agree with HIM, which means that they will disagree with ME, and only females who are severely hormonally challenged will agree with ME. Which means that it will all come out to mean (in his weird testosterone-y world of complete guy-ness), that HE will have won, and the only votes I will get in my favor, will not really count because they will be from women who cannot be trusted with logic and common sense, much less the ability to remember to turn off the oven when they’re done with it!

Are you still reading? Because I’m not 100% sure that even I understood that.

What it boils down to is this……

1. The offense happened.
2. He thinks he was right in his handling of it.
3. I know he was completely, totally, universally wrong in his handling of it.
4. Let the face-scratching begin.

First of all, please know this about us. We adore each other. We are the greatest of friends. We have one big fight once a year, and the rest of the time, rarely even disagree. He thinks I’m the most amazing-looking woman to have ever lived, and that’s not a you’re-pretty-decent-looking-considering-you’ve-been-pregnant-eleven-times kind of flattery to get certain favors. He’s serious. It’s beyond my comprehension. He also believes that I am enormously intelligent and capable of things that I could never EVER do. Really. I think he’s the fun-nest father and husband who ever lived, the smartest and best-looking Weather Forecaster in the history of the occupation, and he actually calls HIMSELF Mr. Steady. And if you don’t know the significance of that, please read Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Helpmeet”. Amazing.

This is killin’ ya, isn’t it?

Okay, here’s what he did. He took the PRIVATE list of baby names I have been contemplating, and……….taking deep breaths and steadying my shaking appendages………emailed them to 20 people he works with, asking their opinions.

Right now, the women who read this are appalled, aghast, and amazed I am still living in this house. I’m right, aren’t I?

The 2 guys that read my blog are sitting at their computers, quizzical looks on their faces, saying, “And the problem is…….?????” or “Man, why didn’t I think of that?”

I will concede that it is POSSIBLE that, in all my pregnant-ness, I am being unreasonable or unusually sensitive.

(Snort!) Right!

I just think that people who most likely laugh at us behind our backs, are not real likely to give a flyin’ flip about what we name our NINTH baby, and should just be left out of the equation. Am I right?

And before you answer, please know that the replies he HAS gotten have been dorky, unintelligent, unimaginative, and offensive. Basically, these co-workers of his have been suggesting names, and NOT the ones he sent them, that you wouldn’t even name your cow that has been dead in the pasture for 2 weeks, but no one wants to go near because of the smell and flies, and because his legs are sticking straight up in the air with rigor mortis.

The bitterness is palpable, isn’t it?


6 Responses to “The Duel”

  1. mindy said

    Sorry, Big D, but I have to go with Allison on this one. What were you THINKING? It would be one thing (although I’m not sure why you would in the first place) if you just emailed your 20 coworkers asking their opinion on what to name Baby 9. But to share your lovely wife’s private list of names–that was very uncouth, buddy. What were you hoping to get out of it, anyway? But I digress. And before you say, “Yeah, but you’re…”, I will remind you that I am not a) pregnant, b) postpartum, or c) anything that society has given an acronym to in order to explain an usually-hormonal woman. If my husband had done this to me, I would definitely be upset. So, put 1 in Allison’s column.

  2. Nina said

    Allison, hands down. By the way, how many times can I vote?

    Cause this hits kind of close to home for me. Our oldest has the name he has because of a male-baby-naming-etiquette-blunder in our house, and while the name has grown on me, I’ve never quite gotten over the fact that my husband asked his father how he’d like to have a grandson be named after him. Without discussing it with me first!
    So whatever the limit is, put that many votes in Allison’s column from me.

  3. Alyson said

    ummmm….I think that whatever name you choose will have nothing to do with what other people pick. Name suggestions are fun….NOT OPINIONS!!

  4. Deulin Dad said

    I’m really not feeling the love here…..

  5. mindy said

    I just asked all the males in my household–well, okay, all the males who are able to read and write and are not in diapers–and they were all appalled and sided with Allison. So, 3 more for Allison’s column. :o)

  6. Anonymous said

    You seid they were PRIVATE baby names!?! I would have to side with Allison 🙂

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