Another Post……..

December 9, 2007

about fecal matter. You can see why I left this out of the title. But you have to understand this about my life. A substantial amount of my every-days are spent either wiping smaller children who use the potty but haven’t quite mastered the art of backside cleanliness, or changing warm , squishy, smelly diapers of the 2 smallest ones. So fecal matter IS a large part of my existence. You should be glad that I write about it as little as I do, considering the proportion of my days that are spent dealing with it! Or you could just say, “Eww!” and stop reading. Your call.

Various well-meaning friends and family members, and quite often the Holy Spirit, remind me that everything I do in my life is just like I was in heaven doing it for the Lord. I love this and am often inspired by it. But I have trouble when the action revolves around……yeah. You guessed it. I’ll refrain from typing it once again.

I just have problems envisioning doing THIS for the Lord……

We have snow. Not much, but enough to excite the children and make them want to go and play in it, which is where the problem comes in.

The 2-year-old must be a part of this outside snow time, which means that a lot of my time and energy is spent dressing her for the cold and snow. Here is usually how this thing goes…..

1. Tell her to gather all the warm clothes she will need for this venture. This entails stopping every 2 feet to check out the ribbon that is laying on the floor and ask if I will put it in her hair, open a board book that is partially open and flip through it, push Older Sister for fun, watch while Older Sister screams and tells Mommy, finds one mitten and brings it to me, wanders around looking for other various winter outerwear, finds hat and tries it on backwards and screams when it doesn’t go on correctly and covers her eyes, brings me one snow boot, finds coat and brings it to me, brings other mitten, brings other boot.
2. Take off her dress and put a sleeper on.
3. Forget to put her socks on, so remove sleeper, put socks on, put sleeper back on.
4. Put on snowsuit. Fight about who gets to zip it. Mommy wins so this calls for a small temper tantrum that is very swiftly corrected.
5. Put on boots. Try to tighten and tie while 2-Year-Old is squirming. Tell her to stop.
6. Pull her to a standing position while she remains like a 2×4 because it’s fun to watch Mommy wince with the effort to pull a very large toddler to standing position who is not cooperating. Cry when Mommy puts her back on the floor and tells her that when she is ready to go outside, she can stand up by herself correctly.
7. Watch as she immediately jumps to a standing position.
8. Asks if she can take her doll outside with her. Watch reaction as she is told “No.”
9. Put on mittens. This child has no concept of what the word “push” means, so the exercise in getting her small, sweaty hand to slide into a tight mitten is beyond description. Then add to that the excitement of getting her thumb to go into the thumb spot without inducing shrieks, and you’ve got a full day’s worth of irritation in one fell swoop.
10. Put on jacket and fight about who gets to zip it. Mommy wins.
11. Put hood on her head from the jacket so that the heavy coat will go on easier. Deal with extreme irritation of 2-year-old who doesn’t WANT the hood on her head! Explain that you will take it off when her heavy coat is on.
12. Put heavy coat on. Again, the concept of “push” is not grasped as you fight to get her mittened hands through the coat sleeves.
13. Put hood down.
14. Put hat on. Adjust. Tell her to look up while you tie it underneath her chin. Try not to scream when she cries because you accidentally tied it too tight the first time.
15. Help her out the door since she is now unable to bend in any way, shape, or form.
16. Shut the door and breathe a sigh of relief.
17. Repeat with the next child.
18. As you help her out the door, notice 2-year-old standing on the sidewalk, unmoving, legs placed suspiciously far apart from each other.
19. Ask her if she has an “icky” diaper.
20. Receive answer in the affirmative.
21. Bring her inside.
22. Repeat numbers 1 – 14 in reverse.
23. Change diaper.
24. Repeat numbers 1 – 16 in order.
25. Reconsider stance on alcoholic beverages.


2 Responses to “Another Post……..”

  1. Nina said

    ROTF at number 25. But I can totally see why. Just remember your unborn child! šŸ˜‰

  2. Anonymous said

    I do all of that with 18 month old for her to go out for two minutes and then cry at the door because she wants to come in. The things we do for our children. Remember we will be rewarded in Heaven.

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