A Post in Which I Reveal the Most Disgusting Sound in the Universe While Also Displaying One of my Many Idiosyncrasies

December 27, 2007

My husband and I have this running joke about what the most annoying sound in the universe is. Kid-whining doesn’t count because it is just too prevalent in our lives. It’s gotta be a sound that is not heard very often, but when it IS heard, you just want to peel all the skin off your body, layer after layer, because that would be more comfortable and enjoyable than the noise. And, by the way, do you KNOW how many layers of skin we have? I don’t either, but I’ll bet it’s a LOT. It had BETTER be, since I have now officially used it as a defense against annoying noises, and the argument won’t work as well if we only have, say, 3 layers. Am I getting off track here?

I was reminded today what MY vote is for most annoying noise. However, now that I think about it, this noise is actually the most DISGUSTING noise in the universe. Sorry about that. Kinda makes that first paragraph utterly useless and distracting, but I’m not going to erase it because I just spent 5 minutes of my life typing it, and I have a rule about being good stewards with our time. Especially when you have as little of it as I do.

So here is the most disgusting noise in universe….Are you ready?

Small, otherwise extremely cute children, who haven’t yet learned to chew with their mouths closed………EATING BANANAS! And you can just hear all the squishiness and spit and smooshiness and black-in-the-middle parts just oozing around inside their wet, warm mouths. Iiiiiick!

And, without mentioning names, I will say that an adult I know does this same thing…..only HE knows how to chew with his mouth closed! And since he’s not sitting there at the table in a booster seat, wearing Gymboree, and possessing blond curls and thighs so meaty and yummy that you just want to bite them, it’s just not as tolerable somehow. I have to restrain myself from marching out to the barn, grabbing a very long 2 x 4, and chasing him around the house with it. It seems to be the only way to get him to stop. That, and…..oh yeah……not buying bananas.

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4 Responses to “A Post in Which I Reveal the Most Disgusting Sound in the Universe While Also Displaying One of my Many Idiosyncrasies”

  1. Bubba said

    Is it just me or is there a trend forming here. Sounds like this “Adult” that you know has some issues.

  2. Susan said

    I totally agree with this. I leave the room when my kids eat bananas.

  3. Kristen said

    I cast my vote for the icky banana!!!

  4. Leigh said

    Ew. I’m so glad that I was not eating my breakfast at the computer, because I would have been totally grossed out. Yes, I agree…that is a completely disgusting noise. :o)

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