Me? Mad? YEAH!

Every year, the Air Force provides incentive to their enlisted members. It’s called an EPR…..an Enlisted Performance Report, and it basically tells you what you’ve done well at all year, what you need improvement on, what special points you earned, and if you should get your next rank when the time comes and you’ve passed the excruciating exam just to get one more stripe on your sleeve and 70 more bucks a month in your paycheck. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

So. Bitter? No. Mad? Yes! See, my husband received his EPR last week and brought it home for me to read. Basically, it said that he is the greatest Weather Systems Programs Manager that has ever lived, that he should get his next rank ASAP!!! (or as soon as he passes the excruciating exam), and that the uniform? He’s SO wearin’ it! The haircut? Could he BE any more manly? You know. Stuff like that.

But the me-mad part comes in because there is a section in the EPR that talks about the extra things he has done that aren’t required, but that get you Special Points for if you do. For instance, my husband is the blood drive coordinator for his building. He does this once a month or so, and has for many years. Extra points on the EPR? Check. He volunteers once a month or so to stand out in the -346-degree weather, wearing 17 layers of clothing which includes wool AND Gortex so you can understand the level of coldness, in order to check IDs and let people onto the base. Because all the military cops who are SUPPOSED to be doing this are sitting around eating donuts. Oh wait. Scratch that. They’re over in Bagram battling sandstorms, MREs, and the Taliban. Oops. Anyway, more extra points for this on the EPR? Check.

Anyway, the part I’m ticked about is that he got NO credit for the most important thing he did all year. The thing that no human being should EVER have to do unless they are Formerly Incarcerated Because They Did Something Heinous and Illegal and Really Shouldn’t be Out of Jail but are Allowed to be if They Do This One Job. Ready? HE DID NOT GET SPECIAL POINTS AND RECOGNITION AND A PURPLE HEART FOR WATCHING AIR FORCE MEMBERS URINATE INTO BOTTLES………FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK OF HIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if you are a fairly new reader to this blog, and you don’t understand what is going on here, you just HAVE to read this post I wrote when he was in this week of…….um………..uh……….hmmm………….Urination Observation………http://olive-branches.blogspot.com/2007/09/special-kind-of-day.html.

See what I’m getting at here? Is it just me, or should he have gotten SOMETHING noteworthy for this????? Me? I’m thinking he should just be given his next rank without bothering with the test. Because having to watch other men do their business for an entire week into a bottle with ZERO eye-diverting? That’s gotta be worth SOMEthing good! Right? RIGHT?

And for those other military wives out there who are reading this and whose husbands are deployed to an area of the world that gives them Combat Pay, and who probably think I’m being a big, fat whiner because, at least MY husband is HOME……well, you’re right. I AM a big whiner. I should be thankful that my husband is here to be able to receive his EPR in person! Even if it IS woefully lacking.

What? I’m just sayin’!