TSU (otherwise known as Toilet Seat Update)

February 21, 2008

It’s official.

I’m a redneck.

I’ve been denying it to my husband for years.  I’ve been explaining to the Yankee Man what officially qualifies one to wear the label………which I haven’t until this morning.  I’ve defended myself for years to Yankees and Westerners alike, and have managed to curb my accent quite successfully, while keeping a slight little twang that makes my speech intriguing and charming.  Or so I like to think.

But, alas.  This morning I did something that I never thought I would ever do.  And the fact that it came so easily disturbs me greatly.  The idea popped into my mind when the toilet seat crack opened up more, so that small children were getting their backside regions pinched in it.  I wasn’t sure how much worse it could get, and I didn’t want the little ones to start slipping through and getting lost down there.  So I did it.

I put duct tape over that crack. 

Yes, I did.  And yes, it looks redneck.  And yes, I am ashamed that I am so pleased with the idea and the successful implementation thereof. 

But you just do what you gotta do, don’t ya?

Because the toilet seat is only one year old, and I have a problem dishing out another $14.97 for another one…….at least until after the baby is born and any future cracks can no longer be making-fun-of-me fodder for my husband.

Do you KNOW how old that already is?

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14 Responses to “TSU (otherwise known as Toilet Seat Update)”

  1. joanna said

    why can’t i post a laughing…gnome…or something to fully illustrate how much i am laughing and rolling on the floor. i think i can officially tell my husband that i work out every day (does he really need to know that it’s just from cracking up at your stories).

  2. joanna said

    why can’t i post a laughing…gnome…or something to fully illustrate how much i am laughing and rolling on the floor. i think i can officially tell my husband that i work out every day (does he really need to know that it’s just from cracking up at your stories).

  3. Kristen said

    That is awesome!!! I can picture exactly how this would look!!

  4. Nina said

    I guess the term “redneck” is relative . I have never tried to hide my accent, and the duct tape on my toilet seat is a year old and still going strong. But because I at least have indoor plumbing and I don’t go barefoot in public places and my husband is not even distantly blood-related to me, I have NEVER considered myself a redneck. 🙂

    I’m not kidding about the duct tape. Like you, I was the seat cracker. Take comfort in the fact that you did it innocently. I was flinging down a left-up toilet seat in a brief but shameful fit of anger when the damage occurred. I would have gone out and bought an identical one leaving noone the wiser, except my husband witnessed the whole thing. Guess who’s turn it was to be angry then?

  5. Nina said

    Actually, I wasn’t kidding about the accent either.

  6. oliveplants said

    Nina, I never TRIED to hide my accent…..it has slowly (almost) disappeared through the years of not living in the south. Also, my husband making fun of the way I say “spoon” and “snow” and “time” for the last 18 years, hasn’t helped my accent want to stick around either. I kinda miss it, but take secret pleasure when people meeting our children for the first time, comment on “their cute Southern accents”. =) I do find, however, when I am back in SC, visiting my family, I slide back into it effortlessly.
    Thanks for commenting!

    Allison

  7. Johanna said

    ROFL! I was laughing so hard at this that my husband had to know what I was laughing about! I so relate because I am from Texas and he is from Ohio. I have been defending my accent and funny way of doing things for the last 13 years, too! The accent fades, and we learn new ways of doing things, and even learn to fix food the “Midwestern” way, but a little bit of the South will always be with us!

  8. Susan said

    I think the duct tape was a great idea. No one wants to get their backside pinched when they are doing their job.
    Very inventive Mom.

  9. Tanya said

    I hate to inform you, but that is not a rednecked idea. My husband, who has been born and raised in Iowa, puts duct tape on everything. And my dad who was born and raised in washington state, believes that that is the only source of glue. So, you are not a red neck. And what is so funny about your post is, I would of done the same thing and I am from Washington. But, it is funny coming from someone else.

  10. Heather said

    Personally, I think it was genius! Duct tape is WAY less than a new toilet seat AND…..it gives it character:)

  11. MamaBugs said

    ROFLOL!!!!
    Very clever fix I think…and I’m a Yankee. Must be the military mindset in me…duct tape and nylon cording…you can repair everything.

  12. I have had a toilet seat (actually 2 of them) do that before. It’s the cheep ones. When we splurged and spent $24.99 on the toilet seat it never broke but those $14.99 ones did under us several times.

  13. M said

    I think that was a good way to NOT buy a $14.99 toilet seat… for some time that is. I must inform you that with eight children in your home, duct tape may not last long 🙂 Just wanted to give a word of warning 🙂

  14. Mother said

    DUCT TAPE!!!!!???? You’ve GOT to be kidding! Oh, my stars! I should SAY LOLOLOLOLOL! (Next thing you know, you’ll be using WD-40 every chance you get.) Just, please, don’t tell your father. 🙂 He’d never let me live it down because he probably thinks I suggested it! Glad it worked.

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