Diaper Humor (if THAT’S not an oxymoron, I don’t know what is!)

February 26, 2008

Back when we were childless heathens, we watched Saturday Night Live.  I know.  And I AM ashamed so just quit thinking about it.  The only thing we watch on TV now is Sesame Street, on the only channel we get out here, PBS.  So there.

ANYWAY, we remember only one or two of the skits, and we actually refer to one quite frequently.  This is it……A family is sitting around the table eating a meal, and you are supposed to think they are unintelligent rednecks.  And I’m not EVEN going to get into the controversial thinking that…..is there another kind?  So one of them takes a guzzle out of an open milk carton, grimaces, spits it out, and gags loudly.  Of course everyone wants to know what is wrong, and he tells them that the milk is horribly sour.  So then the person beside him says, “Let me try it.”…..and proceeds to take a sip and go through the exact same thing, again proclaiming the sourness of the milk.  Another member of the family says, “Let ME try it…” and you can imagine how this goes.  It was really funny, even though you kinda had to have been there, but you probably weren’t because you were doing more noble things that we hadn’t thought of yet because we were stinkin’ heathens.  Did I already mention that?

Today, that same scenario happened with two of our children, but with a slightly different twist.  As the 1-year-old and 2-year-old were playing in the kitchen while I was making supper, 2-Year-Old informed me that 1-Year-Old stank.  (Or is it “stinked” or “stunk”?  I guess I’ll have to forgo that Pulitzer now.)  Surprised by that fact, I said, “Really?  Didn’t I just change him?”  So she walked up behind him, bent over, and took a HUGE sniff in the area of his back pockets.  Then she looked up at me, held her nose, and said, “He stinky, Mommy.”  So I told her that I would change him when I got to a stopping point.  Another child wandered into the kitchen and asked what that awful smell was.  Again, 2-Year-Old walked up behind 1-Year-Old, bent over, and went through the whole sniffing process again, thereby confirming that yes, the stench WAS coming from him much as it had 3 minutes earlier.  Again she informed me of the offensive odor.  She did this at least 4 different times in the space of 15 minutes, each time sniffing with such force that an entire square of Kleenex went up her nose, along with a stray cat hair or two.  And let me just say here that if offensive diaper odors had some sort of prize or trophy like, say, the Oscars, she would win in the Most Horrific Smell That Has Ever Assaulted Your Olfactory Glands category.  So on one hand, you think, “Well isn’t THAT the pot calling the kettle black” when she informs you that someone ELSE stinks, but on the other hand, you think “She IS the expert.” 

And now I am sensing I’ve gone on too long about this.

In other news, this same child ran through the dining room, into the kitchen, accidentally slid across the floor on her stocking feet, and banged her forehead on the edge of the countertop. 

And it was one of the funniest things I saw today.

But I did do the requisite “Are you okay?  That hurt, didn’t it?” thing, so I’m not too horrible of a mother.

However, I must admit I was laughing, so I don’t think it counted.


4 Responses to “Diaper Humor (if THAT’S not an oxymoron, I don’t know what is!)”

  1. M said

    That was HILARIOUS!! I could not keep the grin off my face while reading this post! The fact that “Miss Queen Stink” said four times that her little brother was the one that stank, attracted my smile many times!
    Thanks for writing, once again, on the two-year-old… otherwise known as Basking Toddler!

  2. Linda said

    I have one of those smell inspectors too. Except he’s 7 yrs. old. Good post. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face either.

  3. Nicole said

    Hey there!

    This is Nicole from church… I’m a lurker on your blog… I get such a kick out of reading it! A guaranteed smile! lol :o)

    Anyway… I was “tagged” by someone on my blog to share 7 interesting things about myself and tag 7 others and… **drumroll** You’re “IT”!! :o) When I thought about who I could tag, you were one of the first because I couldn’t imagine what interesting things you might come up with!!! lol

    Have a blessed day! :o)

  4. Zum said

    Just read Nicole’s post and I can’t WAIT to hear what you come up with! This should be interesting. Uh, oh yes . . . enjoyed your blog today too. OK. Ok. That was forced; I confess. I’m Really waiting for the seven interesting things. 🙂

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