Stalling

April 8, 2008

Two-Year-Old has started a new Avoiding Bedtime Tactic that involves a really annoying, but funny-if-you’re-not-related-to-her conversation. 

Wait.  I’m not even sure you’d call it a conversation because wouldn’t that entail a somewhat intelligent back-and-forth of sentences that actually GET somewhere and have a point and an ending?

Here is what happens……..

Less than 5 seconds after I have done the whole bedtime thing with her, and have put her in her bed, and, here’s the really important part, CLOCKED OUT FOR THE NIGHT (at least with those children who don’t require parts of my body in order to continue living), she calls me over and over and over.  And over.  And if we had neighbors, THEY would be coming to her rescue because she is just. that. loud.  So being the good mother that I am (and also because I can’t stand the noise), I go down there to find out what she needs.  And here is when it begins……

Me:  What’s wrong?

Her:  My bobbom hurts.  (Which is 2-year-old-ese for bottom.)

Me:  You don’t have any owies on your bottom.  It’s fine.

Her:  Yes ma’am.

Pause.

Her again:  Mommy?  My bobbom hurts.

Me:  Your bottom wasn’t hurting BEFORE I put you in your crib.  So I know that your bottom is fine and you don’t need to be calling me.

Her:  Yes ma’am.

Pause.

Her again:  Mommy?  My bobbom hurts.

Me:  I am NOT going to change your diaper because I KNOW that your bottom is perfectly okay, and it does NOT hurt.  You just don’t want to go to sleep yet and you’re stalling. 

Her:  Yes ma’am.

Pause.  (Seeing a trend here, aren’t you?)

Her again:  Mommy?  My bobbom hurts.

Me:  Don’t call me again unless your bottom catches fire, okay?

Her:  Yes ma’am.  But Mommy?  My bobbom hurts.

Oh.

My.

Word.

I’ve heard it said that God gives us children in order to shape and mold our characters. 

Let me just say……..I like my character the way it is.

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7 Responses to “Stalling”

  1. Amy said

    That’s funny! Like “Groundhog Day”.:)

  2. Kristen said

    That is too cute!! I guess she is just afraid she is missing out on the party you and hubby are having after she falls asleep!

  3. Heather said

    You’re absolutely right….that is funny-unless-you-are-related-to her!!! I know this because I am not related to her and think it is hysterical!!!!

    Love and Blessings……

  4. Heather said

    PS……

    How is Juan?

  5. TW said

    LOL, yeah, “Groundhog Day,” Amy, that’s hilarious!!!!!!! Hang in there, Allison!

  6. Lori said

    Funny…
    And I thought children were the syndicates for Miss Clairol (the wash that grey right out of your hair people)
    Children give you the grey – Clairol washes is away!

  7. Aunt Duane said

    I want pictures when her bottom catches on fire!

    You make my day. Love and kisses to all

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