The Necklace

April 22, 2008

When I had our newest baby, my parents told me that they wanted to give me something other than flowers for a change.  They had heard me talk about nursing necklaces, and so they told me to find one and buy it, and that would be their new-baby gift to me.  If you’ve never seen one of these, they are really a neat idea.  It’s a necklace that you wear when you’re nursing (not when you’re an RN), and it’s got pretty baubles and things on it.  The idea is that your nurser will pull on and play with the necklace, instead of pulling on your hair, or sticking his fingers up your nose (don’t laugh…..I had a baby who did this), or squeezing your belly fat.  (I HAVEN’T had one who did THAT, but if I ever do, I’ll have to send that kid back and exchange it for a more acceptable one).

Well, I looked and looked for the perfect necklace that I could wear all the time and never have to take it off.  Because I am an extremely low-maintenance kind of gal, and if you ever buy me jewelry, it’s gotta be industrial-strength (Like diamonds. Big ones.) because I NEVER take off my jewelry.  I sleep in it, shower in it, swim in it, and birth babies in it.  Because I don’t have the time OR the inclination to change jewelry daily to go with my various outfits.  I know.  I’m boring.  But if you USED to know me, you would know that my life revolved around clothes and accessories and make-up and shoes.  I’m a much better person inside now.  It’s just the OUTSIDE that looks boring and dull.  And not accessorized very well.

(And before you click away from this page, please know that I AM going somewhere with this, and I’m hoping it’ll be worth it for you.)

So I didn’t find the nursing necklace that I could see myself wearing constantly.  It doesn’t exist.  But I DID find a TEETHING necklace that is plain and goes with everything and is useful!  Same idea as the nursing necklace, but this one is also a teether!!!  How cool is that?!  Church is gonna be MUCH quieter now!

So I called my mom and told her about the necklace, and how it’s so pretty and perfect and I couldn’t wait to put it on!  I also informed her that the teething part was so smooth and had a little “give” to it that would be perfect for a baby to chew on. 

And then I made a mistake.  I asked this question……

“Ya know how sometimes you feel some object, and it has such a great feel to it, that you just want to bite it?”

And there was this long pause.  The kind where you start to wish that you had a time machine, and could go back a few seconds, and just say “Bye, Mom!  Talk to you later!”  AND THEN HANG UP?

And then she said…….

“Uh, no…..not really……you creepy waste of skin that I can’t believe came from my body.”

Okay, she didn’t say that last part.

But she was THINKING it.  I could tell.


10 Responses to “The Necklace”

  1. O.k. I have never heard of a nursing necklace but it sounds awesome. Let me know where you can find these I would really like to look at them.
    Thanks, Susan

  2. oliveplants said

    Just Google “nursing necklaces” and make sure you have 87 hours to sit and drool over all the ones you’ll find.
    They range from plastic-y to crystal! Very cool!

  3. Johanna said

    Wow, I’ve never heard of either of these kinds of necklaces. I’m with you though on jewelry. I wear pretty much the same stuff every day. The only thing that is bad is that I cannot wear any rings. I am alergic to everything I have tried. I get great looks when I am pregnant with no wedding ring. I told my husband that this time I have to get one that is manageable before I am really showing. He has about 3 weeks left…I wonder if he even remembers?

    Don’t worry, we won’t judge you for wanting to bite things – even if we don’t get it ourselves! 🙂

  4. Your MOTHER! said

    I did NOT say or think that! But now I wish I WOULD have ,you creepy waste of skin that I can’t believe came from my body!” ! 🙂 🙂 We’re glad you like it.

  5. Lori said

    Interesting…I’m off to google – you’ve got my curiosities aroused now!

  6. joanna said

    Rolling On The Floor Laughing!

  7. M said

    I can totally agree with you on the chewing ‘thing’ 🙂 Whenever I see a baby toy designed for chewing on, I just want to start chewing on it 🙂

    Thanks for writing!

  8. Cindy said

    I just bought Dr. Bloom’s Chewable Jewels on-line. It is amazing. My little boy will not let it go when he is nursing. They have great necklaces, bracelets, and keychains. I wish I had these for my older child during his teething years. I can’t tell you how many times he grabed at my necklaces and keys and tried to stick them right in his mouth. Chewable Jewels were created by a dentist and a mom which is pretty neat. I guess I feel alot safer letting him stick it in his mouth. You guys should google “Chewable Jewels”. You will LOVE them!!!!!
    Thanks, Cindy

  9. Kristen said

    I am curious if you were able to find one? Maybe you could post a photo!

  10. Cindy said

    I bought them on-line at!

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