City Kids

May 22, 2008

For the last few days I have been attempting to ease our children’s thinking into the strong possibility that they will once again be city kids.

It’s not going well.

Due to several facts of life in the area of Arizona in which we will be living, we are applying for housing on the base on which my husband will be working.  It has been a hard sell for the children.

Because they realize that they will no longer be able to climb 1-ton hay bails and run from end-to-end, the length of twelve of them.  And scare Mommy.

They will no longer be able to climb trees to the tippy-top where the birds are scared to land because the branches are all skinny and sway-y.  That’s a word.  I looked it up.  In the Allison Dictionary of Words That Moms Have to Use Sometimes to Convey Their Feelings That Words Haven’t Been Made For Yet.  You’ve seen it, right?  I think they carry it on Amazon.

They will also have to stop the pretend guerilla warfare that happens on our land, with the fake injuries and screams and gunshots.  All of which are very, very loud.  Because close neighbors don’t appreciate that.  Or so I’ve heard.

There will be no more leaping off the top of the playset with  Walmart bags strapped to their backs, guns in their holsters, and knives tucked into their boots.  Which, again, scares Mommy more than words can describe. 

Backyard camping will be out.  You know, the kind where the dog and a loud and scary raccoon start fighting in the middle of the night, and husbands have to stumble to the house at 4 a.m. to load the shotgun because maybe, just MAYBE the raccoon could be dangerous so it just needs to be blown away.  Because having a (somewhat) valid reason to use your shotgun is cool when you’re a guy.  Kinda like having a (somewhat) valid reason to go to Goodwill is to us.  (Or is that just me?)

Speaking of husbands……the one who lives here will be unable, any longer, to dream up reasons to use his riding mower for reasons other than what it was created for.  Invalid reasons used in the past:

1.  To take a TRASH BAG filled with horribly heavy things like egg shells, used ziplocs, and fingernail clippings to the dumpster, 20 yards from the house.

2.  To transport a TOOL BOX to the barn.  And this was not one of those heavy, metal, with-many-drawers toolboxes.  It was plastic.  And light.

3.  To haul 4 sticks to the fire pile which is close to the dumpster.  Four.  And you may notice that I didn’t say “limbs”.

But after the initial shock, tears, and denial wore off of the children, great ideas have begun to emerge.  Things we can do in the city that can’t be done out here in the country.  Paved trails we can bike on.  Zoos we can go to.  Little businesses we can start. 

And Goodwills that are close by. 

I have trained them well.


3 Responses to “City Kids”

  1. me said

    I don’t think it’s just you who likes Goodwill. I’m OBSESSED with it too!

  2. Heather said

    Oh my goodness. This is going to be so hard on your family.

    I am TOTALLY against Arizona, but when you mentioned ‘Goodwills close by’….for a moment, just a brief moment, I coveted.

    Moment has passed.

  3. Kristin said

    I love knowing that I will get a good laugh 99.9% of the time when I come to your blog.

    You’ll love AZ… I know you will. And your poor country kids will come up with some great stuff to do in the city that won’t bother the neighbors… too much…


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