Just Wonderin’

May 24, 2008

You know how sometimes your husband goes to the grocery store for some sort of something important that he needs on his day off and, before he leaves, he asks you if you’d like anything special, and since you know that they don’t sell A Headful of Long, Thick Hair at the grocery store, you settle for salt-and-vinegar Pringles because you’d snuggle with them at night if they wouldn’t get all stale and crumb-y in your bed?  And you think about how nice it is that your husband thinks of things like that sometimes, and how loving he is, and it’s such a good thing that he’s so yummy because if he wasn’t, life wouldn’t be as good as it is?  And then he brings them home and you hold the canister lovingly in your hand while gently carressing it and anticipating how GOOD they are going to taste in your mouth?  And you thank him for being so sweet and, even though you realize it’s only potato chips, he could’ve just gone to the grocery store without asking what you’d like, and you are thankful that he loves you so much?

AND THEN HE OPENS THE CANISTER AND TAKES SOME OF YOUR CHIPS THAT HE BOUGHT FOR YOU, SUPPOSEDLY BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH?

And then you loudly remind him that there are no vending machines here at YOUR workplace, and it’s very nice to get special junk-food treats every once in awhile, and even though you realize that you could just buy some for yourself on your shopping day, you don’t because then you’d weigh, like 724 pounds?  And you remind him that, since he gets treats ALL DAY LONG at work because he works with people who have entire candy stores on their desks in glass dishes, and down every hallway are vending machines that hold all manner of delicious, incredibly-unhealthy-but-who-cares junk food treats, wouldn’t it be nice if you could have your ONE treat for the month ALL TO YOURSELF because you NEVER get ANYTHING all to yourself except labor pains?

And then he realizes that he may not be in your good graces anymore so he tries to suck up by asking the 6-year-old what she loves best about Mommy, and she says “The food she cooks.”  And then your husband tries to prompt her to think of something more noble than that, but that is basically all she comes up with? 

So then you realize two things about your day.

1.  You now have less of the Most Delicious Chips Ever Made than you had earlier, and…..

2.  The only reason your 6-year-old loves you is because you’re a good cook.

Ever have that kind of thing happen?

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