Stop Right Now Unless You Crack Open Dead People for a Living

June 1, 2008

How is my weekend so far?  How nice of you to ask!  Well, here’s a recap of our morning.

Let’s see.  First of all, we woke up to a raccoon carcass just outside our doorstep.  That would be a raccoon carcass that is skinless.  And only has part of his head……a smooshed-in part.  And the part it DOES have, has one squished eye. 

How do I know this? 

Because it is the SAME raccoon that my 11-year-old skinned just the other day after Yummy Man brought it home from work.  11-Year-Old Son had given him a bucket to put in his car in case he came upon any good roadkill.

How pathetic is that?

And, oh yeah.  How GROSS is that, also?

When the skinning was done, 11-Year-Old offered the carcass to our dog, who adamantly refused it.  I guess a 2-day-old dead raccoon is just not disgusting enough for our lovely dog.  You know…..the one who EATS OUT OF THE LITTER BOX.  As in, we don’t have to clean it out much, if you get my drift.

So the dead, skinless, smooshed-in-head-and-eye raccoon had to sit atop our fire pile for 3 days or so for it to get disgusting enough for her, I guess.  I’m assuming that the addition of rotting flesh and maggots made it so much more palatable for her.

Would this be a good time to tell y’all that in a few months, we’ll be looking for a new home for this incredibly foul dog?


Alrighty, then.

On to the next thing.

We had a bonfire this morning.  Because the odor of the rotting carcass was too much for even us.  And the flies and maggots?  Out. of. control.

So Yummy Man started the bonfire, with our boys throwing stuff in here and there as they felt led. 

And 6-Year-Old laid herself across a log 4 feet from the fire and whined and cried because it was hot. 

We own 7+ acres.

I suggested she move.

I’m smart like that.



4 Responses to “Stop Right Now Unless You Crack Open Dead People for a Living”

  1. Mindy said

    I think Mr. 11-year-old needs a really cool “skinning station” all set up with everything he needs–BEHIND THE BARN–where he could bury all these unfortunate animals as soon as he’s done with them. Just a thought. :o)

  2. Happy Geek said

    Sooo funny.
    Gross for you, funny for us!

  3. Zum said

    Alrighty, then. Too, too funny!

  4. Patti said

    Normally, I just smile while reading your posts, this time–uncontrollable laughter. It was the dog part; horrifically amusing.

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