Best Sentence of the Year

June 12, 2008

I wanted to share with you the winner of the Best Sentence of the Year Award.  Here it is…….

“The ABU……is designed to be a wash-and-wear uniform.  STARCHING AND HOT PRESSING IS….PROHIBITED.”

Okay, here’s the explanation…..

For the last 15 years of my life, I have spent a considerable amount of time each week ironing my husband’s uniform.

And this is not church-clothes ironing.  Let me just say that I have been responsible for the creation of 8 razor-sharp creases a week for the last 15 years.  And these creases are studied and talked about at length in military circles.  These creases are even written about in a regulatory-type book that all airmen must have intimate knowledge of. 

The creases are very, very important. 

And very, very annoying to make.  But I have had an additional motivation these last 15 years besides the this-is-my-husband’s-job-and-we-like-to-eat-and-have-heat thing. 

He looks fantastic in a Battle Dress Uniform.

Which is now called an ABU because somewhere at the Pentagon there is a person sitting in an office that is paid to think up military acronyms to replace old military acronyms that everyone in the military is used to and likes, but must change because of Bored Pentagon Acronym Guy.

So.  Back to the Best Sentence of the Year.

Basically, it means that ironing of the NEW uniform, which has been in the works for years, is PROHIBITED!  As in, don’t do it anymore.  Stop the ironing, would ya?  Quit it!

So after 15 years, on behalf of all military wives everywhere, I’d like to personally thank the designer of the ABU.  If I knew your address, I’d send you a truckload of Peppermint Patties.

Unless Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are your thing.



One Response to “Best Sentence of the Year”

  1. Joanna said

    After 8 years of ironing BDUs, I was sure happy to stop doing that when my husband got out of the military. Unfortuntely, now he’s wearing a shirt and tie to work every day…it was easier to iron the BDUs. Sigh. I combat this by wearing pajamas all day long.

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