A Note of Apology

June 23, 2008

Dear members of the church my family attends,

Please forgive us for coming to church this morning.  We really DID want to be around our church family for fellowship and worship and teaching today, but apparently, some of our children had other plans.

Please forgive 4-Year-Old and 6-Year-Old for giggling and slapping each other during the commissioning service for the very cute young people going to China this summer on a missions trip.  I wasn’t there so I cannot explain why it happened, other than to remind you that I wasn’t there so I’m not responsible.  At least, that’s the story I’m going with right now.  Basically?  Envision me pointing my finger accusingly at Yummy Man right now and saying, “HE was in charge!”

Please forgive 3-Year-Old for SCREAMING out during that nano-second of silence between “Please open your hymnals to page 43” and the first notes from the piano.  Almost-2-Year-Old was breathing and blinking within the half-square-inch of air around 3-Year-Old’s body that she has deemed her personal space.

Please forgive Almost-8-Year-Old for taking all of whatever it is YOU wanted to eat from the potluck table before you got there.  He is a human tornado, sucking up every crumb of yummy food before anyone else arrives, and before either parent notices.  It is quite possible that I will be spending a few moments of my very early morning tomorrow cleaning up vomit.  Seriously.

Please forgive 6-Year-Old for doing interpretive dance on the stage after church was over.  I am fully aware that this is not an interpretive-dance type of church, but she was happy and smiling and not whining, and I was blinded by that.  But just so you know, it was nice, flow-y, smooth, modest dancing.  Just didn’t want you to be envisioning a bump-and-grind kind of thing going on in the house of God.

All the girls who were enjoying the antics of Almost-2-Year-Old, please forgive him for being a shameless show-off.  Apparently, he doesn’t get much attention in this, the House of 10 Trillion Siblings, so he just HAD to deliberately fall off the stage over and over again in order for anyone to know he exists.  (Note to self:  Train him to stop this before he’s 18 or so.  Nice girls who are marrying age don’t really dig that.)

Hopefully, next time we return to church, things will be better.  If not, please keep in mind that very, very soon, we will no longer be a part of your congregation.

Thank you.

The only mom of 9 in your church with big feet


6 Responses to “A Note of Apology”

  1. Joanna said

    ROTFL!!! What an adventure.

  2. Happy Geek said

    Two words.
    Duct tape:)

  3. Lori said

    The Lord loved the 6yo’s interpretive dance – He told me so!

  4. Grace W. said

    hmmm, well if this is of any comfort, I sat right across the isle from your family and I didn’t notice and of their rambunctiousness….but that’s just me. : D The only thing I noticed was during the children’s missionary story when our Pastor asked the children if any of them had ever eaten a some kind of animal like a cooked rat or possum before….one of your children, (I couldn’t see which one), said he had! I was just bummed you weren’t there so you could include it in this hilarious post! : )

  5. Momma said

    Oh, I am sorry I MISSED that! Sounds like it was really something to warm a Grandma’s heart. Maybe next year.

  6. Kathleen from Hohenfels said

    Hello. old friend! I just found out about your website! Wow! 9 kids, how wonderful. We have added 2 to the 3 that we already had. Our oldest is a sophomore in college, 2nd is a senior in high school, 3rd is in 9th grade and then we have the second batch, a precious girl of 4 and a wonderful little boy of 2.

    Life couldn’t be more wonderful! Remember standing outside of my house after bible study and me telling you that I would never have more children? Now I look back and think that I wasted the 10 years between the first batch and the second batch. God is truly blessing.

    It is good to hear about you and your wonderful crew! Will check in from time to time to keep up.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: