A Baby Swing Post

June 29, 2008

This is a post about the baby swing that we own.  It will be a good post, even though the subject matter may seem slightly…..um…..dull-ish.  It’s actually an exercise in good creative writing.  See, one of the 5 things I remember being taught in high school is that a really good writer can make the dullest subject come to life.

I realize that I am probably not a good enough writer to make the topic of baby swings come to life, but maybe wake up groggily and then fall back to sleep.

We’ll see.  Here goes.

Last week, I noticed that the baby swing that Juan, a.k.a. Hairy Babe, spends time in each day was getting slower.  And as the days passed, even slower.  Until, eventually, it stopped.

So I asked Yummy Man to get some new batteries yesterday when he was at the commissary.

And let me take this moment to tell all of you baby equipment manufacturers out there reading this blog that if you want continued business, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT make a baby swing that needs 4 batteries the size of a small Honda to operate.  Because they cost almost as much as a small Honda would, and people that are buying baby swings generally have a new baby, ya know?  And not a lot of cash.  And don’t want to pay $87 for 4 batteries that will be dead in a matter of weeks.

Just my $.02.  Not that I know anything about baby equipment or anything.

(Loud cough)

So I installed the new batteries this afternoon and then set our enormous 3-month-old in it.  I reminded him of how much fun swings are when they do what they are SUPPOSED to do.


And he was all flapping and kicking and smiling and anxiously awaiting the peace and tranquility he remembered the last time the swing actually did what swings are SUPPOSED to do.


But it didn’t really work out that way.

Yes, the batteries were new.

Yes, the swinging mechanism still works.

Yes, the batteries were turned the right way.

Actually, I soon discovered that the reason why the swing was just barely moving was not due to battery or swing-design issues.

It was due to milk-fat issues.

Basically?  Mr. Fatty is a little too heavy for the swing now.

So much so, in fact, that for a moment there, I actually felt sorry for those batteries!


7 Responses to “A Baby Swing Post”

  1. Joanna said

    LOL!! I gave up on baby swings on #2. Not because babies are too fat but because house is too small.

    My ex-military husbands thinks that the fact that the military, er civilian contractors, won’t give you a bigger place is criminal. Like “go to the IG” type of criminal. What are their reasons for not? I just can’t fathom it? Is it because you have the “option” to buy a house off post? Are they making you sign a year-long contract?

  2. Joanna said

    *NOT* husbands. I am not a polygamist or you know, weird or anything like that. I meant ‘husband.’ I only have one and he’s very nice and handsome and loving and wonderful and I love him.


  3. Hello Allison!
    That is so funny! Sounds like you need a heavy duty industrial Baby swing!
    I am reading your book and enjoying it! Thanks for sharing!
    In Christ,

  4. oliveplants said

    Hey Jenny! Nice to hear from you! Thanks for reading the blog and commenting! I LOVE the comments! They make my day! =)


  5. Lori said

    Hey, baby swing post lady, have you every considered wiring the swing to be an electric swing? For future [lighter] babies? We had a swing for Syd that took batteries and nearly went broke trying to feed it – so hubby simply wired it to an 8V adapter and plugged it in. Presto!

  6. Johanna said

    I have trouble with birthing too big of babies for a swing to be of much use for long…sigh…and it is such a wonderful thing while it works. I actaully gave away my swing. Knowing I was having more kids. Now, I wonder if I should try to find one for the baby I will soon birth. Reading this makes me wonder if I should just skip it all together. Fortunately, on babies, milkfat is so cute it cancels out the other problems it causes!

  7. Alyson said

    oh hee hee hee haa ha ha. Ahhhhhhh.Poor Chubby cute pinchable baby.

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