A Post in Which I Reference a Good Movie That’s Not “Finding Nemo”

July 8, 2008

Hi!  So good to see you!  Where have you been lately?  I haven’t heard from you AT ALL!!!  Are you busy or something? 

Oh.  Wait.

That’s me.

Official announcement here……I will be very busy over the next few months.  In case this is your first time visiting my blog, please know that our family will very soon be moving to Arizona.

Where it’s hot.

And just in case you didn’t read the header, I am a mother of nine.  So.  Let’s see here.

Nine kids.

21 hours of driving.

4 days of travel.

And probably a week-long vacation thrown in there too, just to make things harder.

Yep.  Insane.

And did I mention that our house hasn’t sold yet, so I get to prepare for all of this in a house that has to be show-ready at all times?

So please don’t think I’m one of those bloggers who starts this really great blog, with good writing, and interesting posts, and then quits.  (Hi, Nina!) 

I’m just very, very busy. 

And slowly going mad.

As in, insane.

But mad also, as in angry. 

Irritated.

Ticked.

Hacked off.

Because Realtor Guy called me yesterday morning, kinda upset.  Apparently he didn’t get the memo that said we wanted to lower the house price yesterday to $X.  So he called me in a slight huff, telling me that we really needed to get on this, and didn’t we WANT to sell our house, blah, blah, irritated blather, blah.

And when I mentioned that we wanted our house sold a HECK of a lot more than HE did, we kinda got into this “we want it more” – “no, I want it more” little 3rd grade argument that may not have ended too cheerfully. 

I will mention here that he ALSO must not have gotten the memo that says how NOT to call a mother of nine who is slowly losing her mind because she is moving her entire family to a new state in a few weeks and all that THAT entails, and basically get irritated at her and accuse her of not being aggressive enough about selling the house that she stays awake at night BEGGING God to sell!!!!!!

And after I got off the phone, I thought of something really funny.  We bought the movie “A Few Good Men” years ago when Clean Films was going out of business.  This company would take movies and edit them to cut out all the bad words, scenes, situations, etc.  I love this movie, but am warning you to not go out and rent it because you will need to be brainwashed afterwards in order to forget all the filthy language you heard. 

Okay.

So if you’ve seen this film, you know about the part where Jack Nicholson is laying into Tom Cruise at the breakfast table at Guantanamo Bay.  He says, “I eat breakfast 400 yards away from men who are trained to kill me.  So don’t think you can come in here, flash your badge, and make me nervous.”

Or something close.

And that’s exactly what I thought I should’ve said to my realtor…..revised, of course.

Like this…..

“I birth 11 pound babies on my living room floor.  So don’t think you can call me up, chew me out, and make me nervous.”

I always think of great things to say AFTERWARDS.

Man, that stinks!

(And if you are my realtor and you are reading this, just know that we realize you must be under a lot of pressure to sell homes in this market.  We feel your pain.  It WILL happen.  We appreciate your help.  Also?  Thanks for breaking my blogging funk and providing me a little blog fodder for my readers.  I’m sure THEY thank you too.  They get a little testy when I don’t post for a day or three.)

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5 Responses to “A Post in Which I Reference a Good Movie That’s Not “Finding Nemo””

  1. Joanna said

    LOL, you tell him Allison!

  2. Mindy said

    Well, he needs to get a grip, but I AM thankful to him for giving you something to blog about. I understand you’re insanely busy, but I was having withdrawals! :o)

  3. Susan said

    I love it. I can totally picture you saying that to him.

  4. Johanna said

    Why is it that we can never think of the good quip when we need it?? And that is a good one. I suggest that you write it down and keep it near the phone for the next time you need it!

  5. Mother said

    Well, it never hurts to have a little healthy ‘dialog’, now does it? Glad you cleared the air, and you’re both now on the same sheet of music, so-to-speak, in order to sell your house. Don’t you feel better? But … I STILL don’t know how you’re supposed to pack AND keep the house in ‘show-ready’ condition for potential buyers! There’s something wrong w/ that picture, don’t ‘cha think?

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