Here We Go Again

July 21, 2008

A conversation I had at 4 o’clock this morning with my 6-year-old who was kneeling on her bed, vomiting into her pillow……

Me:  “Did you eat anything weird yesterday at church?”

6-Year-Old:  “Yes, ma’am.”

Me:  “What?”

6-Year-Old:  “Apricots.”  Someone had brought a Rubbermaid container full of them with a sign that read:  “Eat as many as you can shove in your face….SO many, in fact, that you vomit your guts out very early tomorrow morning because it’s been awhile since your mom has had a Vomiting Extravaganza and she may be getting a little cocky.  Ha. Ha.”

It was a big sign.

Back to the conversation.

Me:  “How MANY apricots did you eat?”

6-Year-Old:  “Ten or twenty.”

Now here’s something funny.

Not funny, “ha, ha”, but funny, interesting.  (If you find an aside to a post about vomiting interesting.)

When I was growing up, my most favorite food in the world was apricot baby food.  I got it for birthdays.  I got it for Christmases.  I got it in care packages that my mom sent to me when I was in college. 

Basically?  I was an apricot baby food fiend.

The first time any of my children ever vomited, it was after eating a jar of apricot baby food.

Coincidence?

I don’t think so.

As I was lying in bed at 4:30 this morning, unable to go back to sleep, I was considering the fact that I love apricot baby food, and now my children are vomiting up apricots.  And I began wondering where I went wrong in life.  And I came up with only one explanation.

I am being punished for being an apricot baby food glutton.

And now I challenge you to find those 4 words…..”apricot baby food glutton”….. anywhere, together, in the history of the written word. 

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Take your time though.  I’ll be right here.

Cleaning up apricot-flavored vomit.

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4 Responses to “Here We Go Again”

  1. Susan said

    I say my kids in those apricots yesterday and they kept coming back for more and more and I told them they will make you sick. I think they finally stopped but I am surprised I didn’t have any sick ones, because I felt like they had eaten about 10 or 20 handfuls.

  2. Octamom said

    I’m starting to sense a developing theology–it’s still in its infancy, but things are becoming clearer. There seems to be some kind of alternate reality for moms of big families when it comes to the whole vomit thing and if we are patient, eventually there may be a whole doctrine written around Apricot Baby Food Glutton–though for the moment, we may just have to be satisfied that a Google search for these terms will bring someone to your blog—

    We’ve had some upchuckers here this week–no apricots, though…

    Blessings!

  3. Johanna said

    Okay, that is gross. Not a fan of vomit or apricots, so the combination of the two would probably send me over the edge. I’m not sure my kids have ever even tasted an apricot, to be honest!

  4. Everly said

    Will you ever like it again after cleaning it up in this…fashion?
    Everly

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