July 28, 2008

I’m not feeling very funny today.

I’m actually feeling weepy and sad and like I just want to lay in bed and cry for a little while.  At least until supper.

Glad you stopped by this morning, aren’t you?

My husband left for Arizona this morning.  You’d think I would be used to this after 15 years in the Air Force.

I’m not.

It actually gets harder because, through the years, Yummy Man and I get closer.  More comfortable together.  More like each other, but still interesting in an “apart” kind of way. 

So his leaving feels like a tearing.

And Satan visited me in the dark hours this morning, whispering in my ear all that could happen while my husband is gone.  That all nine of my children are my responsibility alone now.  That if something bad happens, I alone will have to deal with it.  Find a way around and through it. 

And that scares me.  What COULD be.

But then I asked the Lord to give me peace and comfort me and let me see HIS view on the subject.  And He told me that He wouldn’t have blessed us with these children to, someday, leave them alone with a mom who couldn’t manage their care.  He wouldn’t give the sheep without the shepherd.

And the fear dissipated.  And the joy returned.  And I am looking forward to what’s ahead for us.

I’m looking forward to moving to Arizona.

Where it’s hot.

How weird is THAT?


6 Responses to “Unfunny-ness”

  1. TW said

    Hang in there, Girl! We’ll be remembering you in prayer, and I’ll try and add some more during the night when sometimes we think TOO much about the wrong things, until we do what you did–turn it all over to the Lord. He WILL give you the grace you need; take it and run with it, even to places where it’s HOT! 🙂

  2. Susan said

    Marc and I were just talking last night about how as we have grown closer in our marriage the trips when he is gone have become harder. Just remember that it will be over before you know it and you will all be together again.

  3. Octamom said

    Tossing up some prayers for you here–while we haven’t had to endure the separations that come with military life, we have had our seasons when for business reasons, we have had to spend weeks apart–and it’s no fun.

    Praying that you are surrounded with encouragement today. Praying that the Lord protect you and close your ears to anything that is not of Him. Praying that you feel the provision and might of your Jehovah Jirah.


  4. Johanna said

    In the same way that you had people from all over that you only know through your blog praying for you when you were fearful in the days before delivering your precious ninth, we are all praying now again. May God sustain you both until you are together again.

  5. Steph said

    I know at least a little what you mean–my husband is away in Ukraine on a missions trip right now. Last year he was in Texas without us for 11 weeks. He so lovingly pointed out that added together, that means he has been away 1/4 of the year. Not cool!! That rawness at the back of your throat? The tenderness of heart? GREAT place for God to speak. Isn’t He good? All the time! Hang in there–God is sovereign over all. 🙂

  6. Patti said

    My husband sometimes travels, say maybe only once a year, but the kids (only 2 so maybe it doesn’t count) and I look forward to it…only in that we sometimes do weird things while he is gone like, make a chocolate cake and eat it for dinner (not AFTER dinner, but AS dinner). They take turns sleeping with me in Daddy’s spot, we stay up a bit later watching a DVD together. Fun stuff. Stuff we reserve for when Daddy is gone. And then, just as the novelty is wearing off, he’s back!

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