September 11, 2008

A fact you may not know about me……..

I think Chick-fila will be in heaven.

And it will be across the street from my mansion.

See, in my opinion, Chick-fila is the best fast food restaurant in the universe.  They have the best chicken recipe ever created.

And God created their lemonade on the EIGHTH day.

Really.  If you’ve ever had it, you would know this.  It literally will make your eyes roll back in your head, and a deep, guttural moan escape from your lips. 


What does this have to do with being a joyful mother of nine?

I’m gettin’ there! 

Two nights ago, we took the children to Chick-fila.  We haven’t lived near one in over eight years.

That’s significant when you understand that I crave Chick-fila whenever I’m pregnant.

Like, badly.

So I haven’t been able to satiate that craving for the last 6 babies.

It’s been rough.

Anyway, on the way to Chick-fila, I told the children about how they were about to have a life-altering experience and it’s a good thing that they are blessed with such great parents who will spend the money to take their children to such an amazing restaurant and introduce them to mind-numbingly delicious chicken.

When we arrived, we found out that it was family night which meant that we got two children’s meals free.


Also when we arrived, we found out that their mascot, a cute and fluffy (and short) cow, was there walking around, waving to kids and being generally adorable.

We did our normal routine of Yummy Man taking all the children and getting them settled in at the table, and me going and ordering for everyone.  As I stood there, trying to figure out which particular chicken entrees to grace my children with, I heard a small child….say 2 years old or so…..being burned alive.

At least, that’s what it sounded like.  It was alarming, the noise coming from that child’s face.

Every person in that restaurant spun around, looking for the distressed child who was being slowly and excruciatingly killed.

But it wasn’t just ANY kid, I soon found out.

It was MY kid.

You know.  The one who thinks that cows who walk upright in fast food restaurants, waving to patrons and hugging small children, are ACTUALLY small-child serial killers who prefer blond-haired, blue-eyed, tall- and skinny-ied-bodied 2-year-olds who have an affinity for Matchbox cars, combines, and the occasional doll.

Normally, that kind of freaking-out by my child would be pretty embarrassing but it was actually quite impressive.  I kinda just stood there, analyzing the pitch, tone, and decibel level of the screams.

While pretending I didn’t know the kid.

It got so bad, in fact, that the management asked the cow to stay on the OTHER side of the restaurant.

The side where the kids are normal.

And quiet.

I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be going to Disneyland anytime soon.


7 Responses to “Chick-fila”

  1. Gwendolyn said

    My oldest son did the EXACT SAME THING when he was two. He was pretty freaked out by anything in costume. Halloween was not a fun time around here. LOL

    Thankfully, he grew out of it, because we are going to Disney the week before Christmas this year and I would hate to cause Mickey Mouse any undue trauma.

  2. Joanna said

    ROTFL!!! That’s hilarious. I think giant-furry-cows-standing-on-two-feet-with-a-human-already-ate-up-inside are pretty scary, too. I don’t blame 2YO…and I’m 29 years older than said 2YO.

  3. Susan said

    I love this post. I thought my two year old was the only one who screamed at fun kid things. Most children love those furry dressed up people but not mine. She screams at the gorillas in the zoo when they walk past her.

    Must have been the fact Miss A. was there when they were first born.

    Just joking.


  4. Octamom said

    I’m pretty sure there are some prophetic verses about Chick-fil-a in Collonians…or 3rd Kings….or something like that….

    8th day lemonade…yep….


  5. cheryll said

    I have to say, that I love to read your posts. You always make me laugh.

  6. your loving sister-in-law that doesn't usually read your blog said

    Hey there!

    Just wanted to add my two cents to the Chick-Fila post- not because I am as crazy about it as you but because I wanted to redeem myself as the dead-beat sister-in-law who doesn’t read your blog. Just thought I would let you know that you are in fact my very favorite sister-in-law that lives in Arizona (not to be confused with my other favorite sisters-in law who live in South Carolina and Tennesse). I think you are a totally awesome mother and wife and I am kind of thankful we don’t live closer because I wouldn’t get any thing done because I would be spending all my time being with you!!! Just an aside- we also had a child who was traumatized by the “scary” Chick-fila cow but after counseling she is fine now. (Just kidding!) Love you!
    Your dead-beat sister-in-law

  7. Sienna's Mom said

    Hey Allison!

    We have missed chick-fil-a, too, and are so thrilled that they have it here in Kanas! They had it in TN but not in NE (it seems like there is not much in NE except our wonderful church and a lot of snow), so my girls always asked for Chick-fil-a even though they knew it wasn’t available (I guess they were hoping that maybe it just popped up out of no where). They even told their dad that he should open one up and that they would help cook! How cute! They would be willing to help at chick-fil-a but not at home!

    The lemonade is to die for and our favorite it the chick-fil-a sauce (honey barbeque). Yummy! Another thing they have here in KS is Steak-n-Shake! Another yummy!

    Well, I hope that you are doing well and I am glad they have offered you a bigger place. God is always so gracious!

    Thinking of you and your family often, Wanda

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