October 15, 2008

There are many things I miss about living in the country.  Probably one of the top three would be issues of dress.

We never really had to worry about how the children were dressed when we lived in Iowa. 

Non-matching socks did not matter.

Plaid with stripes didn’t make me bat an eyelash.

Holes in the knees of jeans worked for me way out there.

The only time we had to whip everyone into shape, fashion-wise, was for church.

Even then it wasn’t much of an issue because on any given Sunday, you may see mismatched socks or a hole in a sleeve or someone wearing black socks with white shoes in our congregation of large, homeschooled families.

Here, however, proper dress is an issue.

Neighbors are watching the weird family with 9-kids-on-purpose.

So when 10-Year-Old ventured outside IN PUBLIC yesterday, wearing purple-plaid shorts and a camo t-shirt, I think somewhere on base, alarms went off.

And then we had a 10-minute discussion in the driveway about what would match with either purple-plaid shorts or the camo t-shirt.

Later on that night during our normal evening walk time that didn’t happen because Mommy hurt her back and couldn’t stand up straight and, even with pushing a stroller, couldn’t mask the degree of bent-over-ness and grimacing, we sat outside with the kids while they rode their scooters.

And now I must break in and explain the newest thing that our children are playing. 

Gate Guard.

Where they stand on the edge of the sidewalk and whenever one of their siblings wants to pass, checks their “ID”, which is usually a leaf or a bit of trash picked up off the street or a slip of paper found somewhere.  This is what Gate Guards do on military bases.  So whenever we want to come back on base after shopping or whatever, we have to stop, roll down our window, and show them our military ID.  The guard takes the card, flips it over to check something on the back (probably the place where it says how much I weigh…..oh wait…that’s my driver’s license), and then hands it back to me.

And so this is what our kids do for fun.

Last night, 2-Year-Old wanted to play, so the older kids let him be a Gate Guard.  And I can honestly say that it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my entire life.  Yummy Man tried to get me to blog about it, but I told him that there is no possible way that I could convey the cuteness of him being a Gate Guard.

And last night, he took the Cuteness Factor to a whole new level.

He was standing at the designated “base gate”, checking IDs with his little Gymboree jacket on with the hood pulled up because, for some reason, the jacket canNOT be worn without the hood pulled up, plaid shorts on, and Mary Janes 3 sizes too big.

Yeah.  Mary Janes.

Girl shoes that he had worn around the house all day long and somehow managed to get outside without Yummy Man noticing.

Some feat, let me tell ya.  Because Yummy Man has a VERY sensitive Girly Meter, which is some area of his brain that alerts him when one of his boys is doing, wearing, reading, playing with, or saying something “girly”.  Like wearing pinafores or tutus or anything with sequins.  Or saying words like “precious” or “lovely” or “Does this barrette match my dress?”

So how 2-Year-Old got outside with Mary Janes on is unknown to any of us.  But I DO know that Yummy Man let him do his Gate Guard duties, wearing the girly shoes.

And only because, I think, it made the whole thing THAT MUCH FUNNIER!

I think there were people who came out of their houses in order to find out what all the hilarity was about.

And the Mary Janes just confirmed their suspicions about us.

Yes, we are The Freaky Family With Nine Kids.  And we’re okay with that.


3 Responses to “Fashion”

  1. Patti said

    I TOTALLY get the Mary Janes on Little Yummy Boy; because I have a Yummy Boy too and he LOVES to wear his sisters pale pink satin slippers with the little matching bows. He howls with outrage if she wants to use them. He also appropriated her “lovely” garden hat and enjoyed wearing it with his totally manly camo winter jacket. He was wearing it one day when daddy needed to walk to the corner store. Daddy’s Girly Meter pegged but I dared him to take his son as-is to purchase the hardware he needed from the store. We have photographic evidence and it’s “precious”! I’m sure we’re now known and the Crazy Americans with a Fashion Flawed Cross-Dressing Son. You see, it was winter and the hat was CLEARLY a spring accessory.

  2. Jordan said

    I was just wondering…….. Why does your son have purple plaid shorts?

    ~Jordan (Kim’s daughter)

  3. oliveplants said

    They were plaid, but the predominant color was a purple stripe. They really aren’t as bad as they sound. Really. It’s not like they were purple, red, and orange plaid. =)
    Thanks for commenting!

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