Potty Training. Or Not.

January 16, 2009

Some mothers tend to put other moms who have a lot of children and SEEM to have it all together on a pedestal.  I have done that and tend to do it still.  Like I forget that I have nine children and SHOULD have it all together.  ‘Cause most days I just feel like I have 2 or 3 kids and then a whole bunch of rambunctious baby cattle or a lot of daycare kids whose parents really need to train them better.

Ahem.

So here is my point.  No one should think I have it all together just because I happen to have been weird enough to voluntarily go through childbirth 9 times.

Here’s why. 

My very-close-to-being-a-4-Year-Old 3-Year-Old (did you get that?) is still in diapers.

Yep.

Still.

She STARTED to get out of them before we moved to Arizona.

Five months ago.

But then she decided that sitting in a van wearing warm, squishy, oozing, and sometimes-smelly diapers for 21 hours would be more fun.

Or something like that.  I’m not sure WHAT, exactly, she thought because I was 3 years old, like, 36 years ago and I can’t remember back that far. 

So now she spends a LOT of each day telling me that her diaper is falling off because I refuse to buy her diapers that will actually be big enough for her because then they would say “Depends” on them and cost a lot more.

So, basically, I am motivating her to WANT to wear panties by not buying diapers that are comfortable and roomy enough to hold her adult-sized excretions, if you get my drift.

But because of this, I have to watch her out in the backyard with the bottom of her dress tucked under her chin while she tries to reattach one side of the velcro on her diaper.  And I have to watch her sitting in the stroller on walks, pulling her dress up to her armpits while she scratches places on her legs where the diaper rubs because it’s not quite large enough.  And when she stage-whispers in church that her diaper is falling off and then limps over to me with her kneecaps attached together, I rethink my whole potty-training philosophy.

That when the time is right in HER little 3-year-old mind, she’ll figure it out.

Because this is one battle I don’t fight. 

And I’ve been successful with this strategy six times so I’m not REALLY worried.

Just kinda.

But I figure when a nice young man comes to court her someday in the future, and she walks into the living room to greet him with her diaper crinkling underneath her skirt……and she has to stop to reattach the side that popped off and then ask me to change her stinky, she just MIGHT think that PERHAPS now would be a good time to break out the panties.

Or not. 

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6 Responses to “Potty Training. Or Not.”

  1. Lori said

    How funny you are! Glad to see you found your Joy again!

  2. Vicky said

    What, it took you to the seventh child to get one like this? I only had two children and my second was like this. But my doctor assured me that to date she has never seen a high school senior walk across stage to receive their diploma while still in diapers!

    And when my second child did decide? He put on his underwear and never had an accident and never looked back. Although, still trying to convince him that 6 year olds really are too old for baby-and-me classes at the pool! Its always something!

    Thanks for your HILARIOUS take on this!

  3. What a blast! That’s like folks who are worried their child won’t quit breastfeeding…when you think about it, are they really still going to be breastfeeding when they go off to college? Probably not….

  4. Christine said

    Yeah, I go with the “or not” thing too when it comes to potty training. Actually, I have not potty trained a single child around here….
    # 1 was potty trained by #2;
    #3 was potty trained just because we wouldn’t give him a diaper anymore when he was 4-1/2 to poop in;
    #4 was trained by one of my friend’s sons who was younger than him;
    #5 was trained by #2;
    #6 is still too little and is #7, but #1son has offered to try to train #6

    So I claim no victory of my own in this department. #1 is going to be 16 this Friday and does quite well on his own.

    Love in Christ,
    Christine

  5. Wendy said

    Allison, thanks so much for the giggles this morning, I needed them. The three youngest children must have planned some sort of conspiracy yesterday to keep everyone up two hours past bedtime. Despite frequent visits from me (of course they plan this when dad is at prayer meeting) and numerous encounters with the rod. They stood their ground, keeping everyone awake. Needless to say, all six are GRUMPY this morning. So that explains why I’m hiding in the office reading your blog and having a grand ole time. Keep writing, I love it.

  6. Kate said

    My very-close-to-being-a-4-Year-Old 3-Year-Old (did you get that?) is still in diapers.

    I have one of those too!!! Everytime I ask her if she wants to wear her pretty panties she says “No, Thank you.”

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