From The I-Can’t-Believe-That-Was-Said-In-My-House Department

February 28, 2009

Every night after we have our family devotional time, we go around to each of the children and ask them what they learned from our reading.  Two-Year-Old usually blurts out some 2-year-old word that starts with a D or a B and sometimes a T or an M and every once in awhile, a G.  And I do realize that I just spent time on that last sentence that I will never get back again.  I’m not sure why I wrote all the letters that his words start with.  Let’s go with the my-husband-is-working-late-and-I’m-avoiding-housework excuse.

Yeah.  That’ll work.


After Two-Year-Old had his say in which only he and God know what he learned, 3-Year-Old went next.  I am not going to give her quote any preface at all other than to tell you that you need to know that we ARE a Christian, homeschooling family that teaches our children about the Lord….every. day. of. their. lives.

She said, “I learned that God fell down and got hurt and then He died.”

Yep.  That’s really what she said.  And when I told her that God is NOT dead and OH MY WORD WHERE HAS SHE BEEN FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS????!!!!!!!  she just kinda looked at me weirdly and carried on with the business at hand which was checking every miniscule sliver of salmon in her couscous for gross things.  Which, of course, we all know didn’t exist because I don’t make gross things to eat.


And then just a few minutes ago?  When 7-Year-Old came out of her room to inform me that 4-Year-Old put her finger in the fan and can they turn on the room light and see if it’s bleeding?  I said this…..

“No.  I didn’t hear any bloody-murder-type screaming so she’s fine.  Get back in bed and go to sleep.”

See, if you are a mother and have children, you just know these things without having to turn on lights or walk back to the room or even be able to see through walls.  I just knew.  Not because of any visual evidence, but because of the LACK OF  AUDITORY EVIDENCE.

You gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to pull one over on THIS mom.

Yeah.  I’m pretty proud of myself.

I just hope that tomorrow morning I won’t discover a 4-year-old-sized finger on the floor in their bedroom.

‘Cause that would be bad, huh?


6 Responses to “From The I-Can’t-Believe-That-Was-Said-In-My-House Department”

  1. Kimberly said

    I had to comment because I just found your blog and we are also a homeschooling family with 9 children and we call our blog Raising Olives.

    I also loved the 3 year olds comment. One of our children once told us that Jesus had to die on the cross for HIS sins. Yep, they sometimes get a little confused.


  2. Nana C said

    I am just laughing so hard, after the beginning of the 7 year 0ld reporting on the 4 year old sticking the finger in the fan, I was cracking up and had to stop, call hubby Gary over and read the whole post to him. Oh my goodness! Life is special Love Nana C

  3. Nikki said

    I came upon your blog while I was reading updates on the Montreat Alumni website and saw the post “Yummy Man” left. Though I attended Montreat 10 years after your husband, I am glad he left a link to your blog.

    Though I do not have kids, reading about your day to day adventures really brings a smile to my face. I had to share your blog with my sister who is 5 months preggers. We both enjoy and just wanted to say thank you for the snorts at work and home!

    God Bless,


  4. Vicky said

    I’m so relieved my mothering is on par with yours. I would be the one however to check the finger with a flashlight AFTER they had gone to sleep just to be sure. And if I did find an injury I would need a little time to come up with the appropriate response to the medical personnel when they asked what did you do when it happened? Cuz no amount of ” I told them to go to sleep,” would probably do 🙂

    And please give 3-year-old an extra little hug from me!!!

  5. Zum said

    So …… let’s see. You posted on Feb 28th and have not posted again since that time. Are we to assume you haven’t posted again because you are in the Tucson County Jail because there WAS a four-year-old-sized finger part on the bedroom floor??? Yeah, that would be bad. Just checking.

  6. Your writing is hilarious! Thanks so much for being a bright spot!

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