A Post In Which I Prove Myself To Be Extraordinarily Freak-ish And Needy

March 8, 2009

So tonight, I think I finally discovered what my mission in life truly is.  (And I do realize that I have nine kids and I homeschool them and should already KNOW my mission, but this is my blog post and I can talk about whatever I want to.  So there.)

My mission, apparently, is to make other moms who possess larger houses than I do, feel better about them.

Their houses, that is.

The ones that have larger numbers than a one and a two and two zeros in them.

As in 1200.

Square feet.

Apparently, they have recently found themselves lamenting the fact that their houses are too small or laid out weird or not roomy enough or something like that, and then they stopped and thought of me in my teeny-tiny house with nine children and one Yummy Man, tripping over each other and having to take a number to use the bathroom and stuff like that.

And then they felt better about their houses and themselves.

Which, in turn, made ME realize how pathetic MY existence actually is.

Not really.

But I bet it made those church ladies kinda gasp and feel bad for a second, huh?

I like to do things like that sometimes.  It’s funny, isn’t it?


Then I remembered that a friend from Iowa came to visit me for a few hours this past week.  She told me that it had snowed 5 inches there before she left home to come down here and I ended up spitting in her pasta salad later at lunch when I was dishing it up.

Not really, but I like to say stuff like that, remember? 


So as I was giving her a tour of our house, she said this….

“You know, Allison, this house is REALLY BIG!  I don’t know WHY you think it’s so SMALL!  I mean, I grew up in a house that was 900 square feet!!!!!”

And then I asked this…..

“And did you share it with 8 siblings?”

And then she realized what she had said and felt sheepish and all and then I felt kinda bad about the spitting thing.

But not too much.

And by they way, Susan, Dear Friend From Iowa, I think you’re swell and you can come live in my house anyday with all YOUR children because I just like you THAT much!

And I DIDN’T spit in your salad.

But I WANTED to.  Because I miss snow and even though I understand that me missing snow and, consequently, spitting into my friend’s salad may not seem related?  It is.

Trust me. 

And now I am at the end of my post and I realize that it was kinda meandering and weird and if I described it as “floopy” would you delete my blog from your feed reader?  Because I just feel like the whole thing was floopy.

And I’m sorry for that.

Please don’t delete me.

I live in a 1200 square foot house with nine kids. 

I need your love.


3 Responses to “A Post In Which I Prove Myself To Be Extraordinarily Freak-ish And Needy”

  1. Kristin said

    I live in 1000ish sqare feet with 6 kids. And I feel your pain. I do! And when I got really depressed was last night as I sat looking at BHG (Better Homes and Gardens) website and their “helpful” hints for small spaces and realized that most of the pictures were of rooms that were larger than my entire upstairs living area. Small? Really??

    Okay, thanks for letting me rant on your blog 😉 Praying you don’t pull those few hairs you have left while dealing with napless little ones…

  2. Susan said

    You will never guess what i ccame home to on Tuesday?? Yep you guessed it. SNOW!!! Can you believe it.

    By the way I am so happy you did not spit in my salad. And we would love to come to your house and visit someday with all the children.

  3. Kim said

    Allison, you are absolutely as hilarious as I remember. Maybe more so.

    Sending you some love,

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