The State of My Fairly Pathetic Vision

April 1, 2009

Tomorrow, I will be involved in a momentous occasion.  One that, heretofore, I have avoided desperately.  One that Yummy Man is anticipating with unconcealed glee.

I’m getting bi-focals.

Me.  Not-Yet-Forty Mother of Nine is getting PROGRESSIVES, which sounds way better than bi-focals even though we all really and truly know what I’m talkin’ about here.

I’m getting old.  Haggish.  Maybe dentures are next.

And Yummy Man is loving it.  Even though he’s older than I am, he loves…..and let me just say that again with more realistic emphasis……LOVES the fact that my age is starting to get to me.

I’ve fought back the Not-Yet-Forty Mother of Nine sagging body parts fairly well.  Yummy Man has commented on my more-toned biceps and less-jiggly tummy.  And let me just say here that when you’ve had nine children?  There’s jigglage.  And that’s a word, Kim W. M.  I just made it up.  I’m allowed to do that because it’s my blog. 

Jigglage.

Jigglage.

Jigglage.

Sounds normal now, huh?  You could probably use it in the grocery store without too much hassle.

Not sure what the context would be, but that’s not my problem now, is it?  I just gave you the word.  It’s up to YOU to use it.

So.  Back to the bi-focals.

I mean….PROGRESSIVES.

Can’t WAIT to use them actually.  Can’t WAIT to be able to read my recipe cards from a normal distance instead of asking one of the offspring to go put it out on the patio so I can see it better.

Now I just gotta hurry up and turn forty so I don’t feel so weird wearing bi-focals.

I mean….PROGRESSIVES.

Makes me feel like I’m nearing EIGHTY, actually.

Maybe while I’m out tomorrow, I should go check out girdles too.

Don’t you know Yummy Man would just LOVE that!

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3 Responses to “The State of My Fairly Pathetic Vision”

  1. Pure ME said

    You can throw it in his face that this reader is 26 and has had bi-focals for a couple of years. If I was any older you may have just given me a complex…=)

  2. Mrs B said

    If it makes you feel any better – I just recently bought a pair of reading glasses too! One day I was reading the Bible and

    WOAH! When did those words become THAT blurry! Hmmm…must be tired or something! Visiting WalMart’s reading glass section one evening, thereafter, with Daniel and tried on a pair of +1.75 and wah-lah, I wasn’t “tired” anymore!

    And I’m younger than you! This alone should make you feel better AND the fact that I only have two children and I still have a lot of jigglage! Yep, A…LOT!

  3. Kim W. M. said

    Thank you for the new word of the day: Jigglage.

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