I’m Still Here……Are You?

April 26, 2009

So here we are in The Land of Humidity, Grass, and White Carpet.  We’ve been here a week and have already managed to wreak havoc in a way that only a family with nine kids, let loose in a large house that contains glass trinkets, white carpet, and floor-to-ceiling windows can.

Been a little stressful, it has.

(Hey!  I kinda sounded like Yoda there for a sec, didn’t I?  How cool is THAT?!)

The trip here went fabulously.  All the hotels worked out great which is code for everyone-had-a-place-to-sleep, which is code for no-one-had-to-sleep-in-a-tub-with-a-pillow-and-comforter.  We definitely got our money’s worth from each place because they all had “free” breakfasts which, to our kids, is what vacation is ALL about.

Basically, we could be going to Disneyworld which has agreed to close down for an entire week just for our family and there will be no lines or waiting and we can have all the concessions and Disney souvenirs we want at no cost to us and all the really cool Disney characters will be at our beck-and-call to, like, give us piggyback rides and go on the roller coasters with us and let us wear their tiaras and stuff…….and our kids would think that the road trip to get there, with the continental breakfasts at the hotels, is the REAL vacation and THAT is what they would talk about for 3 months beforehand.

Remember the juice they have?  All the different flavors and you can have as much as you want?

Remember the waffles that are shaped like Texas and you can put strawberries and syrup on them and Mommy won’t tell you that you can’t?

Remember the different flavors of yogurts that the breakfast lady puts out and keeps going back and getting more, even after you’ve already had six of each kind?

See, our kids don’t get out much so they don’t know that these things are just the preliminary to the REAL vacation.

And we can’t convince them otherwise.

But we’re thinking that someday there are going to be some future spouses for our kids that are going to thank us HUGE for not building up expectations in our children’s minds as to what a vacation REALLY looks like.

And costs.

Just take them to the nearest Hampton Inn and let them go for it at the breakfast buffet.

Just don’t forget the barf bag.


In other news, and for those of you who actually understand what South Carolina is like, let me tell you what happened when we got past the Depressing Desert Line, where the cactuses (or is it cacti?) stop and the lush green grass starts.

We got out at a rest stop and……I kid you not…..I could SMELL the humidity and the evergreens and the rain inside the clouds that were coming our way but wouldn’t be there until next week, and I just about cried.


Everything was green and wet and soft and lush and wonderful and I was so ecstatic to be back!  And then when we were unpacking at my parent’s home and it was dark and started to rain, I wanted to get nekkid (yes, that’s how we say it here…got a problem with it?) and roll around in the grass.  Seriously.

Let’s just say that I am thrilled to be back in a place that has grass and humidity and lushness and Walmarts that don’t require you to have a permit for a concealed weapon in order to shop there.

Plus, my hair is a lot curlier here in the humidity so it looks thicker which is always a good thing.

And yes, I realize how shallow that last sentence was but I can’t help myself.

So there.


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