The Beeps

May 4, 2009

For the first time in my entire adult life, when I came home to visit my parents, they were in a house that I had never seen before.  I grew up in the same house from the time I was 3 years old until the time I left home to go to college.  So this has been a pretty big deal, coming to The House of White Carpeting, and getting used to this new place.   One little idiosyncracy of my parents’ new house, which they share with both of my grannies, is that there are a lot of beeps here that I don’t understand.  I’m not sure what they all mean and where they all come from and why they all have to reside here.

But they do.

Early on, I decided to just let them be.  I didn’t worry about where they were coming from and what they signified.  Basically, I just ignored them and let my parents deal with them because, hey, it’s their house, right?

The other night, my mom and dad left me here. 

Alone.

With the beeps.

At first, all was quiet.  (Because the kids were all in bed and actually sleeping which is the only time in a day that real, true quiet exists in our lives.)

Then, beeping commenced.

But I was very, very busy with extremely important things.

Like watching HGTV.

And maybe even eating a little bit of ice cream but only if you don’t think badly about me.

At first, I kinda wondered where the beep was coming from and why it felt the need to, indeed, beep.  But then I was able to just ignore it while I watched, like, 12-year-olds with Wall Street jobs buy homes for $300,000.  (Is it just me, or is that insane?) 

But the beep kept beeping.

And after awhile, it started to get in the way of my HGTV-watching which is significant because I never watch TV because in order to actually DO that, you have to HAVE TV, which we don’t at our house in the desert.

Where it’s hot.

So, suddenly, I kinda jerked up on the couch and gasped because it occurred to me all-of-the-sudden that…..what if that beep is really really important?

Like, what if there is some sort of button on my 91-year-old-granny-that-lives-here-with-my-parents-because-she-has-a-heart-condition that signifies that she is in distress or that the oxygen she uses at night had gone bad or something?

And maybe there’s a flashing neon light that I was subconsciously ignoring too!  And in 47 seconds, First Response is going to knock down the front door and wonder why there is this tall chick with really thin hair and big feet JUST SITTING ON THE COUCH WATCHING HGTV WHILE HER LITTLE ‘OLE GRANNY IS DYING IN THE OTHER ROOM!!!!!!!

And I kinda stopped breathing for a second. 

Until I realized that, the beep?  It was the fridge door.  Slightly ajar.

And then I was thankful that I was home alone, with no other adults to tell me what I huge dork I actually am.

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