For Yummy Man On Father’s Day

June 22, 2009

I’ll admit it.  I am totally stealing this thing I’m about to do but I really don’t feel bad about it because I’m giving it a spin that is all my own.

See, I’m going to pretend that I’m Yummy Man and post 25 random thoughts about myself….except that I’m HIM. 

Get it?

Kinda clever and funny, huh?

Yeah.  I get that a lot.

And somehow this all has to do with it being Father’s Day.

Somehow.

So here goes…..

25 Random Things About Me….Yummy Man (as thought up by Allison) :

1.  I understand and revel in the fact that there are 27 states of the sky and I will gladly explain them all in excruciating detail to anyone who remarks about what a nice day it is.  (It’s weird that I don’t get invited to parties much, isn’t it?)

2.  I think dangerous, ultra-scary weather is rockin’ cool!  And I don’t mean just watching it on radar.  I mean, standing out in the front yard with splintered rafters, shingle pieces, and broken bushes flying about my head while I look at the sky with a really stupid grin on my face.

3.  I’m manly.

4.  I didn’t like living in Europe because I wasn’t allowed to wash my car in my own driveway.  Also?  The trash men were not very punctual.

5.  I used to paint houses for a living.  But then I got fired.  By my own dad.

6.  Which reminds me, I’m an orphan.  That means that both of my parents are dead.  BOTH!  And I use that whenever I need some extra attention from my wife.  Or Oreos.

7.  When I first saw my future wife and the mother of my nine children, I thought she’d left her rear end in her room.  Seriously. 

8.  I think highly unintelligent, extremely dorky movies are funny.

9.  I am a Weather Forecaster in the United States Air Force and just made Master Sergeant.

10.  Which makes me manly.

11.  Tim Taylor on “Home Improvement” is my hero. 

12.  I think my wife is very attractive.  Even though she has size 11 feet and I can sometimes see her scalp on windy days. 

13.  I used to play the trumpet in high school band.  While that has been very useful, noble, and respectable in my adult life, it means that I was a total geek back then.

14.  I’m not a geek now.  I’m manly.

15.  I was the only other person at my second daughter’s birth.  She was born after 15 contractions total and one request by my wife for a handgun to end the torture. 

16.  I’ve been on several European tours of various historical battles.  Twelve minutes after I left for each 4-day trip, every member of my family back home began vomiting and didn’t stop until one hour before I returned.

17.  Even though I’m manly, I always jump to the worst (read “most fatal”) conclusion whenever I have a headache, sore throat, or an episode of 3 sneezes.  In a row.

18.  My wife often rolls her eyes at my illnesses.

19.  My wife is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  I was a total geek before she married me.

20.  Now, I’m manly. 

21.  I am freakishly limber.  If the people in our church knew that I could bite my own toenails without pain of any sort, anywhere on my body, they might not invite us over for dinner anymore.

22.  I think corny jokes are hilarious. 

23.  Just yesterday, I told my wife that my favorite side dish is Deviled Eggs.  And she didn’t already know that.  After almost-20 years of marriage.

24.  I’ve been married almost 20 years. 

25.  I am the father of nine children, all of whom I adore immensely.  I would rather spend time at home with them than be anywhere else in the world. 

Now, back to me…….

These are all true statements about Yummy Man as seen through my eyes and after almost-20 years of marriage.  If you don’t know us, you might be appalled that I would tell these things about him in a public venue.  However, you’d be wrong because this is the kind of thing we have laughed over together for the last almost-20 years.  He is my favorite person in the whole world and I love that he loves me and our children more than anything else in the world. 

So Happy Father’s Day, Yummy Man!  I adore you!

 

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3 Responses to “For Yummy Man On Father’s Day”

  1. Patti said

    I LOVED this entry more than any other you have written in the last 24 hours! Thanks for sharin’ the love!

  2. Duane Kelley said

    This blog was priceless! Thinking about the two of you, I found this to be hilarious. Glad when you ALL will be back in the lower 48 – maybe then we will see more of you either here in the Carolinas or on your front doorstep. Aunt Duane

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