Mercy

July 5, 2009

We had a really bad day yesterday.

REALLY bad.

If there had been any Bad Mother Police patrolling our neighborhood, I would’ve been arrested.

It was the kind of bad that made me just want to quit.

To shut down this little home with all the homeschooling chaos and Lego mess and unmade beds and bumping into each other in the hall.

I just wanted an easier life yesterday.

The kind of life that involves lots of sitting around and reading books that don’t rhyme or have flaps you open up to discover an alligator underneath.

The kind of life where I don’t have to worry a minute about the character development of children in diapers, children who are reading chapter books, and tall children who are fast becoming young adults.

I know of a woman who did this.  Just checked out of her life, leaving her family behind to pursue the things SHE wanted and to make her life easier and more enjoyable, presumably.

Don’t know how that’s going, but I do get a glimpse every now and then into the mind of one of her children.  And it breaks my heart.

So I’m staying put and keeping on because I know that I have been called to this life.  I know that it is my reason for being on this earth and I never want to look back and wish that I had done more and better and harder.

I messed up yesterday.

Huge.

And I could let Satan beat me over the head with it, or I could accept the grace the Lord extends me every time I mess up, even when it’s heartbreaking.

I have chosen to accept this as an opportunity to learn first-hand what the Bible means when it says that when I am weak, then HE is strong.

There are no funny stories here today.  No tales of diaper mishaps or toddlers with lisps.  Just a mom being real in her need for forgiveness and grace. 

And hoping that somehow, it may make a difference to you in your life today at YOUR house.

Wherever that may be.

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One Response to “Mercy”

  1. Anna said

    It made a difference today. Thank you!

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