A Post in Which I Use a Lot of Caps……Because I Just MIGHT Be a Teensy-Weensy Bit Irritated

July 9, 2009

Sometimes I get asked questions by other moms……things like, how to get the kids to all sleep in one room or what to do about picky eaters or how to afford to clothe and feed them all.

So I’m going to give you all a very important tip right now.

It’s a free one.  No need to thank me or feel you must repay me in some way (unless you really want to). 

It is just my service to all moms everywhere.

Here it is…..

Never.

Ever.

Live in a 1200-square-foot house with nine kids in the desert.

And the main parts of that tip are………

1200-square-foot house,

nine kids,

and the most important one……desert.

‘Cause I could do a teeny-tiny house with nine kids in, say, the Midwest or the East Coast or Europe (PLEASE let me do it in Europe, Lord!)

But when it’s 107 degrees outside and it’s, like, 43 inside, there is no going outside.  It’s almost too hot to even LOOK outside.  I’m about to faint dead away after going out to move the sprinkler to another spot in the front yard……..6 feet from the front door.

And, Kim N.?  If you want to call me a wuss, go right ahead.

I accept that.

I embrace it, matter of fact.

And I am not ashamed.

Because when you have never lived in a place like this before, and you experience this heat, which is unlike anything I have ever known heretofore in my lush, humidity-ladened life, you just look around and wonder one thing…………….

WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT A CITY HERE?

That’s all I’m wanting to know!

Really!  Who clomped up on a horse, looked around at the cactus and the RATTLESNAKES and the sand and the lack of ANYTHING AESTHETIC AND HUMANE and thought, “Hey!  Let’s live HERE!  It’ll be fun to build a house here and live in it before they invent air conditioning!  I’d love the challenge of having no water and having to make sure our children aren’t killed by rattlesnakes or any other myriad of dangerous things!  Yeah!  The East Coast, with its forests of green and thick grass and days on end of rain is SO overrated.  I want to live HERE!”

Who did that?  Seriously!  I WANT TO KNOW!

Because my kids are quite literally climbing the walls every afternoon, and RUNNING down the hall, which is a pretty neat trick because it’s only about 10 feet long, and there are little people riding scooters on the tile flooring, and trying to get past the bigger people in the hallway who think it’s a fun thing to lay a blanket on the floor, lie down on it, and have another kid pull them around the house that way.  Which means that they are taking up half the floorspace of the house.  And you just can’t get mad at all the noise and the running and the chaos because…..

THEY CAN’T GO OUTSIDE TO PLAY! 

Why, you ask?

BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO LIVE IN 107-DEGREE WEATHER!

Why, you ask?

BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM GROUCHY AND IRRITATED AND JUST PLAIN ANGRY SOMETIMES!

Or so I’ve heard.

 

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6 Responses to “A Post in Which I Use a Lot of Caps……Because I Just MIGHT Be a Teensy-Weensy Bit Irritated”

  1. Susan said

    I agree!!!!!! You are so right about he heat. Marc and I hated it when it was the dead of summer. It would get so hot that our pool didn’t even feel refreshing. I feel your pain.
    Susan

  2. Laura said

    HOT!!HOT!!HOT!!!
    Now that’s an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!

    You just wait–August is not better, in fact, it gets HOTTER!!!

    Right now, we have “monsoons”, which cool things down a little bit–you know, down to 99 degrees and a little bit humid. You gotta admit–seeing those streets FLOOD with water in a matter of minutes is rather interesting to watch. My kids and I really enjoyed going for a walk in the water in the field in out backyard–but can’t do so anymore because of the FENCE. 😦

    Does your church have a gym? Is it open during the week? Or do you know anybody who has a key? If so, then go there and have the kids run around… Threatening them to put them outside for 15 minutes does wonders in getting them to comply to your wishes ;-> (NOT!!!) Just make sure you take your keys with you anytime you leave the house–you wouldn’t want the kids to “accidentally” lock you outside. (heehee) I wouldn’t want to be outside for 2 minutes, so I don’t even think of threatening the kids with that option.

    I’ve noticed that most people hibernate during the daytime and come out to play at night-time. (You know, when you’re trying your darndest to get your kids to sleep…that’s when the neighbor kids come out to play–and they don’t realize that there are other people in the world besides themselves…) Guess if you can’t get them to be considerate of others, you might as well join them–now that would be interesting. A fun PARTY with the Heykoops at 9pm! ;-> Let me know when you do that–we’ll join you.

    We Tucsonians like it HOT!! We have it hot during the winter while everybody has it frigid…and we have it even HOTTER in the summer! IT’s sizzlin here… But you know what? Phoenix is HOTTER!!!! It’s all relative. There’s somewhere in the world that is hotter–try the mojave desert, or Saudi Arabia…

    Now, living like sardines in a 1200 sq foot house is the challenge. Good thing you guys like each other. ;-> Family togetherness brings happiness. 🙂 (right?) If you can keep them realatively quiet–then the library is a good place to take them… Or the community center. have you check that place out?

    We still luv ya anyway!! 🙂
    Have a HAPPY!!!

  3. l.ann said

    I so totally agree – however we do have more than 1200 square feet now AND we don’t have nine children! But I do totally empathize with you about the heat – the kind of heat that heats the sidewalk to the point of frying an egg (not to mention your feet) if you choose to venture outside. We’re having this same kind of weather this summer – never before – and hopefully never again!

  4. Wendy said

    Having lived in this desert all my life, let me pass on page number 72 from the “Middle of the summer, WOW it’s hot Survival Guide.”
    1. School in the summer. Take time off in the November and March if you want/need a break. School is necessary during the summer to keep everyone occupied and in the house in the afternoon.

    2. Wake up at early, start your day no later than 6:00, 5:00 is better. Get up, get ready and go do your errands and activities before 11:00. The tricky one here is that Costco doesn’t open until 10:00 so that has to be the last stop in the morning before heading home.

    3. Once breakfast is finished, let the children go out to play and let them wear themselves out. In the summer, “work before play” gets turned upside down.

    4. It has to get this hot to generate the wonderful storms in the afternoon/evening. Although our Monsoon has been pretty weak this year, hang on, I think it’s still coming. There is nothing like the air after a strong storm in the summer. The temperature seems to drop 20 degrees and it’s absolutely wonderful. It’s like a gift at the end of a long, hot, day. Perfect barbeque weather.

    5. Plan family activities for the evening, even if it hasn’t rained, the evening is still a lot better than the afternoon. For us, sometimes we’ll do our evening devotions before dinner and head outside after dinner. During the rest of the year it would be the other way around.

    6. Crock Pot everything! Don’t even look at the oven.

    Finally, and I realize this will be of little comfort to you, my sister-in-law just wrote from Doha, it was 117 degrees at 10:00AM.

  5. Jordan said

    Yes indeed, this is Kim N’s daughter here saying I hate the heat. How bad have your sunburns been? I got one last month (before it was 107) on my hands. It was bad. They hurt when I did things like play the piano. That’s when I made it very clear to my family that I want to move someplace cooler when I move out. Not too far away (though Europe would be interesting…) just COOLER!

    Ok, my rebellion had been exposed.

    ~Jordan

  6. Kim N. said

    YES! school, books, and other quiet activities inside, library, church gym, early mornings, water play…all good survival advice. So sorry you’re having to suffer thru this; it’s definitely easier when you’ve done it most your life. I’m a wuss in any kind of cold (including the A/C in stores, esp. the produce section at Costco–I stand outside it and yell in to my husband what to get!) It’s all how you’re wired and I know my thermostat’s way off. My mom calls ahead when she’s on her way over so that I turn the A/C on for her 🙂

    Perspective does help a bit: it’s definitely hotter elsewhere. Once in Phoenix, during the home school convention in July, we were put in a Super 8 hotel room without working A/C. By the time we realized the air blowing out of the vents was not cooling down and we’d never get to sleep sweating like that, it was 1am. They gave us a new room down the way which we tried to walk to barefoot on the sidewalk–a mistake!! Burned our feet as it was still well over 100 degrees in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Then we all promptly went into shock as our bodies tried to adjust to the frighteningly icy A/C–where’s the balance in this desert land????

    And think of all those firefighters out fighting the lightning- caused wildfires in full gear…it could be worse! Just get a cold drink, pour it down your back, and thank God for refrigerators and freezers 🙂 Enjoy fruit, salads, and the break from cooking–who can eat anything hot during this?!

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