WAAAAAAA! (That’s the sound of a baby crying in case you didn’t get that.)

November 17, 2009

We are a military family.  Air Force to be exact.

And we love the military life.  We love getting paid to go live overseas in Bavaria, Germany for three years.  My husband loves the fact that all of the schooling he has had in the past 16 years has not only been paid for, but HE has been paid while getting it.  We love that the babies we have had in the hospital only cost $25 each.  We love that we don’t have to worry about medical insurance or how we will be taken care of when we get sick.  We love being able to live on a military base with all its conveniences and safety.  But most of all, we love not having to pay utilities.

Because we live in Arizona.

Where it’s hot.

There is one thing, however, that is not appreciated by our military member, namely Yummy Man.

About a year or so ago, some top Air Force guy decided that it would be a neat idea to designate Mondays to being the day when all Air Force members, Air-Force-wide, wear their dress blues uniform.  (And yes, I do realize how many times I typed “Air Force” in that last sentence.  Hey, it’s my blog.)

This uniform’s pants are a combination of wool and polyester and the shirt is mostly polyester but with just enough cotton to make me have to iron it so that the sleeve creases could leave you with a paper cut.  And, oh yeah, the pants HAVE to be dry-cleaned.  No questions asked.  And the shoes are made of plastic.  Seriously.  So there’s that.

So basically, the idea I’m trying to convey here is that this uniform is NOT comfortable.

The reason why I know this is because, beginning Sunday afternoons and going all the way to Monday night, I get to hear JUST how uncomfortable this uniform is.

Every.

Thirty.

Minutes.

“I HATE Mondays!”

“I HATE blues!”

“Man, I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow! ” (on Monday.  You know, Blues Day.)

“Who was the idiot that thought up blues anyway?”

“Those blues are like working all day in a straight-jacket!”

“Man, I hate blues!”

And it has just gotten worse.  Normally, Yummy Man goes to work in his Battle Dress Uniform which is called something else now but, after 16 years, I still call it BDUs.

Sue me.

The Battle Dress Uniform is basically like wearing sweats to the office.

With boots.

So you can see why Blues Day is Just.  So.  Hard.  To.  Deal.  With.

Unless you’re married to me because I just can’t seem to conjure up the sympathy required to feel too sorry for Yummy Man.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been pregnant 11 times.  Nine of those were full-term PLUS, so when I count it up, I’ve been pregnant for almost 87 months of my life.

That’s over 7 years of my life that I have been pregnant.  Fat.  Uncomfortable.  Sore.  Exhausted.  Uncomfortable.  Unable to sleep.  Sore.  Uncomfortable.  And did I mention FAT?

So the blues thing?  Not feelin’ it.

He gets to sit in an air-conditioned office, with coffee and a drink machine, a snack room, multiple TVs and computer monitors PER PERSON, morale days where they play games and have cook-outs, plus he gets to wear the equivalent of sweats most days, AND he gets paid for it?

You’re thinking the same thing right about now, aren’t you?

Waaaaaa, right?

Yeah.  Me too.

Plus, there’s the other thing.

You know, the one about a man in uniform?

And the attractive-ness factor inherent in that?

Yeah.  So me likes the uniform.

It’s very very nice.

Blues Day RULES!




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3 Responses to “WAAAAAAA! (That’s the sound of a baby crying in case you didn’t get that.)”

  1. Patti said

    OK. So in England, when one goes to a “fancy dress” occation, it means the American equivalent to a costume party or masquerade ball.

    When our neighbor told us that her Air Force husband hated Mondays because he had to go to work in his fancy, “dress uniform”, we heard “fancy dress” uniform. Which conjured thoughts of the military base dotted with men and women of every rank dressed in crazy costumes going about their country’s business. Fun to imagine, even now–try it! :oD

  2. Tina said

    Oh, I remember those days. My husband was 10 years Air Force and we spent our state-side time in Maryland (where it is hot, but only in the summer like it should be). Blues days created hours of whining in our household too. I feel for you.

  3. Dustin said

    I esteem the valuable history you offer in your articles. I will bookmark your website and have my kids check up here recurrently. I am rather sure they will study lots of new stuff here than anybody else!

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