To The Nice Man Who Sat in Front of Me Last Night at Church

May 10, 2010

The heavy breathing during the first half of the service?

Yeah.  That was me.

And I just wanted to apologize for that.

Because I have recently discovered that the morning sickness?

Not so “morning”.

Actually, it’s after every meal I eat, no matter what time of day.

I can eat a hard-boiled egg here and a little cup of cereal there, but if I sit down to eat an entire meal, I will want to stab myself in the eye afterwards as the extreme desire to vomit hits me like an avalanche.

Of molten lava.

So last night after eating an entire meal at potluck, I was in a world of serious sickness while everyone ELSE sang happily about Jesus and heaven and rainbows and kittens.

And inside MY head, I was making deals with God.

When the singing ended, it got even worse because then the man in front of me was able to hear my heavy breathing, which was an attempt to get the nausea out of my body and into the air around me to dissipate.

Because that can happen, right?

It also helped me fight off the urge to cry, that’s just how sick I was.

But here’s the thing……

I have lost 2 babies.  When I was pregnant with them, I didn’t have one second of sickness.  So now, I actually PRAY to feel pregnant each day and I’m thrilled in a very strange way when I feel sick because I know the baby is a “keeper”.

And now you don’t feel sorry for me at all, do you?

Now you just think I’m a little creepy and weird, don’t you?

Yeah.  I get that a lot.

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