Still Here. Still Pregnant. Unbelievably Cold.

December 16, 2010

Negative 40.

As in Fahrenheit.

Yeah.

And I just don’t know what else to say about that.

Here’s the story for today, courtesy of 2-Year-Old……..

Yummy Man and I were eating lunch and most of the children were otherwise occupied during the time of the day that is called Rest Time……otherwise known as Mommy’s Lunch Time, otherwise known as Mommy’s Nap Time, otherwise known as Mommy’s Time to Sit in the Quiet, Unmoving, Just Breathing In and Out Undisturbed.

It’s kinda an important part of the day.

Anyway, Yummy Man has off work the next few weeks and so we were sitting on the couch eating lunch after the kids had started Rest Time.  Suddenly, 2-Year-Old runs into the room and tries to persuade us to shovel some of our lunch into his mouth.  He does this by standing there in front of us with the most adorable 2-Year-Old cowlick in the universe, chubby cheeks, tank-like build, and slightly droopy diaper, smiling sweetly.

But then.

He gives Yummy Man a hug and then turns and runs off, telling us that he is going to go get into his crib.  All well and good, although a little weird when you remember that he’s 2 and most of his life is spent in the pursuit of finding the ultimate pretend light saber (currently one of my vacuum extension rods) and eating.  But he does this and I will explain why later.  So we told him that was fine, that he could go get into his crib for awhile but then he said this……..

“You stay here, Mommy.  And you too, Daddy.”

Uh huh.  Oh yeah.  We’ll just sit right here and let you go put Legos down the toilet and dump entire bottles of shampoo and baby powder into the bathroom sink.

So we gave him 5 minutes.

Enough time to get upstairs and decide his mode and manner of disobedience, but not enough time to actually implement the plan.

But that wasn’t it at all!

His intention was to go lie in his crib, make a stinky in his diaper in the privacy of his room, and suck his thumb alone.

Because here’s the thing we’ve figured out about him.  Somehow, he has figured out through the experience of all of his 2 years, that sucking your thumb isn’t manly or cool or very mature.  Plus, the chicks don’t dig it.  So the only time he does it is when he is alone in his crib.

How sad, and yet, absolutely hilarious and adorable is that?

He will tell us a few times each day that he wants to go up to his crib.  So we tell him that’s fine, knowing that he feels the need to suck his thumb, but not in front of his older, more mature siblings.  And he will go lie up there, slurping away for 5 or 10 minutes, climb back out, and get back to playing.

Couldn’t you just eat him?

Now I’ll explain why Yummy Man is home for the next few weeks…….

After 17 years in the United States Air Force……less than 3 years away from when he could retire with benefits if he so chooses…..Congress decides to let military members have 10 days paternity leave whenever a new baby is born into their family.

Sounds great, right?  Well, we were hoping it was a retroactive thing, where he could claim the leave for the last 9 children……that would be 3 months of leave!!  But no.  Not gonna happen.  So he had a bunch of leave saved up and decided to spend some of it preparing for the new baby and being able to be here for if I go into labor before my induction date.

Which reminds me.  That is now officially up in the air.  Because NOW is when the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology decides to be conservative with inductions, which I am totally supportive of!  Except for in MY case!  They are saying that I may have to wait until next Tuesday for the induction now because THEN I’ll be 39 weeks and that is the recommended period for elective inductions, which mine supposedly is.

Cough.

Here’s the thing, though.  They are worried about the maturity of the baby’s lungs before 39 weeks so that is why they won’t do them earlier except under medical necessity.  Seriously?  39 weeks and that baby is going to have lung problems?  My babies come out with drivers’ licenses, basically, and they’re worried that their lungs aren’t going to be developed enough?

Oh, and here is the gem I received from the doctor I saw for 7 minutes on Monday.

I’d never seen her before and I’m thinking she hadn’t read my file except for when I was sitting in the room and heard her flipping through it outside the door.  The first question she asked me was, “HOW fast was your quickest labor?”  And I told her that it was less than an hour, and 5 minutes later, she proceeds to inform me that I need to come into the hospital when my contractions are 3 minutes apart for an hour.

Huh?

Were you listening back there when I told you my fastest labor was under an hour?  I had THREE contractions that were 3 minutes apart…….RIGHT BEFORE I HIT TRANSITION AND MY BABY WAS BORN INTO MY BATHTUB WITH MY HUSBAND CATCHING HER BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE TO DO IT!!!

And then she asked if I needed anything…….and left.

I’m not usually unable to form sentences but I was left speechless.  (Insert hysterical Yummy Man laughter here).

Oh!  And I forgot the part where she reprimanded me for knowing that I am dilated to 5 cm.  Apparently, she thinks that I go dig up dead bodies with my bare hands for fun, and then come inside and check my own cervix.

She gave me this big speech about how the germs could get inside me, blah, blah, blah……..and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted HER to check me.  You know.  In the hospital where people who are very sick and dying go to breathe their filthy disease-breath all around.  But THAT wouldn’t be a hazard to my cervix.

Yeah.  That last paragraph contained words that I never dreamed I would fit together to make the sentences that were made.

Cervix.

Disease-breath.

Blah, blah.

I think I’d better just wrap this up now.  The bitterness is palpable, isn’t it?

I’ll let you know how things are going.  And if you’re lucky, the next blog just might contain the words “mucous plug” in them.

Wouldn’t THAT be a treat!

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3 Responses to “Still Here. Still Pregnant. Unbelievably Cold.”

  1. Aunt Duane said

    I was really hoping for 12-17 but thats okay. I am furious with the MD – did she not listen at all? Obviously she did not read the IMPORTANT part of your MR regarding after the baby clears the canal! However, since this is the 10th and Yummy Man IS experienced, I have faith that everything will go well – God goes with you.

  2. Trina said

    Hehehehehehehe!!!I like the hysterical Yummy Man laughter!

    Minus 40, eh? Turning in our rental car on Dec 6th in LA, we talked to a lady with two dogs (I forget the breed), getting ready to go home to Fairbanks. She had come down for a dog show. She was in shortsleeves. I was in short sleeves. Everyone else had on coats, some with gloves and hats, too. I LOVE living in northeast Nebraska! 🙂

  3. ronda said

    That was spoken in a truly unique nine-months-pregnant-way! We will pray all goes well and not too fast on Tuesday.

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