Today.

September 6, 2011

We picked up some sort of stomach thing at church on Sunday.

Don’t you love it when people share like that?

Last night, 6-Year-Old was sitting up in bed, sorta hyperventilating when I went in to check on her.

I told her to come into the kitchen so I could give her some activated charcoal and she promptly vomited down the front of her nightgown, on the kitchen floor, in her hair, and on my hand.

So when 3 more kids woke up this morning, complaining of hurting tummies, I pretty much nixed all yummy food for them for the day.

They pretty much ate bananas all day while complaining about how much their tummies hurt and exclaiming over the fact that watching videos made them feel better.

By late afternoon, however, two of them were feeling better and told me that they felt they should be able to hork entire forkfuls of Vege Alfredo down their gullets for supper.

But I told them that they would be having a SMALL amount of regular supper in order to give their tummies time to adjust and heal.

That didn’t go over well.

Then I told them that I really didn’t LIKE cleaning up vomit at 11 o’clock at night, or ANY time of the day or night for that matter, and wasn’t going to let them hork down regular supper because of that fact.

Then this conversation commenced…..

14-Year-Old:  “Well, at least it’s not spit-up.”

Me:  “Huh?  Spit-up is EASY compared to vomit!”

14-Year-Old:  “No, spit-up is way worse!”

Me:  “Um…no it’s not!”

14-Year-Old:  “Okay, well, how is spit-up different from vomit, then?”

Me:  “See, spit-up is a little bit of mommy-milk dribbling out of a baby’s mouth.  Sometimes it can be a little more forceful than that, but it’s basically LIQUID.  Baby juice, pretty much.  VOMIT, on the other hand, is chunky and colored and usually contains whole pieces of the victim’s most recent meal.  See the difference?’

14-Year-Old:  “Oh.”

And did I mention that this conversation was had at the dinner table?

Yeah.

There is very little discretion or couth-ness in a family of 12 where a LOT of the conversations are initiated by teen and near-teen boys.

But I TOTALLY won that round.

It’ll probably be QUITE a while before any boys in this house question my vomit-knowledge and experience levels again.

I totally showed THEM!

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4 Responses to “Today.”

  1. Way to flash your “vomit seniority” badge! Well-earned for sure!
    By the way—I can handle talk like that at the table UNLESS I still have the scent of said vomit in my nose!!! How do you do it?
    Mom of 9 in MN

  2. Mother said

    WHEW! Am I glad I missed THAT dinner-table conversation, stimulating as it was! Maybe Faz and I should send you a few topics to choose from for your next meal? 🙂 🙂 :). Funny post – thanks!

  3. Heather said

    Eww, but high five on winning the spit up v/s puke debate!

  4. Patti said

    Rock on, you so won that round! But you forgot to mention the stench factor where vomit is concerned. Huge oversight on your part.

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