February 7, 2012

Some of you have written, asking how I’m doing after my surgery.

Thank you for that!

Because my family?  They’ve just been concerned only with the fact that, because food is indescribably difficult to get out of the huge caves where my wisdom teeth used to be, my breath has smelled less than stellar.

Try HORRIBLY, DEATH-LIKE, and ROTTEN and you’ll be fairly close to the accuracy of the smell. 

After the initial concern and love and care died down right after the surgery, this became the theme of our household for a few days…..until I got the hang of getting the food particles out of those caves.

Even my smaller children exclaimed over the stench coming from my mouth.  And then they told me that it just emanated from every pore in my body, and stunk up an entire room.

Wow.  Good thing I don’t have self-esteem issues.  Snort! 

But they were pretty polite about it.  Respectful, even, unless you count the look of complete and utter horror on their faces as they said it and anytime I got close to them.

And Yummy Man?  Well, if you personally know Yummy Man, you won’t even need to read how he felt about this whole thing and the manner in which he conducted himself around me and my stenchiness.

He had a BLAST.

Yeah.  That’s the man I promised to love and cherish and spend all the rest of my days with.

He made fun of me every chance he got.  He made a huge point of scooting to the farthest side of the bed possible each night and holding his breath whenever I came around and then exhaling loudly as he ran from the room.

He called me things like Death Breath and Catacombs Girl and other things that my mom wouldn’t approve of. 

If you DON’T know Yummy Man personally, let me just state that this has always been his personality.  He lives to entertain himself at others’ expense but mostly at mine.  I knew this going into the whole marriage thing and I did it anyway.  His awesome calves blinded me from it.  I have only myself to thank.

But the surgery itself went really well.  At least, I THINK it did seeing how I was totally asleep during the whole thing.

Now here’s the OTHER side to Yummy Man…..

When they brought me into the recovery room, I was still pretty out-of-it, but mostly awake.  One part of my mouth hurt so terribly that I was quietly crying and pointing to it so they could do something about it.  Basically, tears were running down my face and Yummy Man came right over and wiped my face and eyes with a Kleenex until the surgeon came in to give me a shot in that side.

You understand the Yummy part now, don’t you? 

Two things came out of the surgery…..two Allison Thoughts, if you will…..

One, going under ROCKS!  It’s an incredible testament to the science of pharmacology that you can MAKE someone go to sleep and, not only that, but while they are sleeping, you can use a small drill to saw into their bones and rip other bones out of their skulls…..WITHOUT THEM FEELING IT!!! 

How amazing is that?

The other Allison Thought is this…..when and if you have oral surgery some day in the future, where you end up having 4 huge holes in your mouth that are open and bloody and basically gaping wounds, TRY NOT TO VOMIT FROM THE PSEUDO-NARCOTICS THAT WERE GIVEN TO YOU FOR THE PAIN.

And CERTAINLY don’t do it 3 or 4 times!!! 

Because gaping, bloody mouth wounds and vomit don’t mix well. 

And THAT is the thought I will leave you with today.

You’re so welcome. 



4 Responses to “Update”

  1. Mindy said

    So glad you’re doing better–and especially that you learned to effectively flush your sockets. I’m SURE your household was really suffering there for a while. Glad THEY will be okay now, too. Oh brother.

  2. Big Baby's Mother said

    Um … I think this last part fits under thecategory, “More information Than You Wanted to Know”. :). Poor thing; glad it’s Over! Sounds like Yummy Man held up well …. at your expense! WHAT ate we going to do with him?!

  3. Trina said

    I will NOT, repeat, NOT, let R read this post! Ever since he had his wisdom teeth out long long ago (mid-20’s, I believe) and the healing did NOT go very smoothly, he cannot STAND to even be in the room NEXT to someone telling a loose tooth story, let alone an oral surgery story that includes gaping holes, pain, and vomit!

    Me, though, I’m laughing so hard I have tears. Not AT you Allison, not AT you….WITH you, you poor dear!! 🙂

    I’m laughing b/c your story is so gross and sounds so painful and yet you write it out so well! Oh my. Oh my oh my. Ahem. Ok, I think I’ve recovered now, but I’m giggling again b/c I thought of what R’s reaction might be if I told him why I am laughing. But I won’t. At least, not right now. Hehehe.

    Thanks, Yummy Man, for taking good care of your wonderful wife!

  4. Sitting in the same room with you and your sense of humor must just be hilarious! I always get a stitch in my side just playing out your posts in my head….my face hurts!
    Glad you are recovering well.

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