A Post in Which I Set Joanna Straight About A Thing or Two
June 29, 2008
Joanna left a comment that just HAD to be addressed as an actual post. I certainly don’t want something THIS important to get lost in the sea of comments I receive each day.
Okay. Maybe not SEA. Maybe more like drops from the kitchen sink that sit there, pooling in the corners until they dry up.
Here is what she asked about the last sentence in my “Wow” post which was a response to all the wonderful, loving, chocolate-flavored comments I got after my “Pathetic, Whiney…” post.
In which I was pathetic and whiney.
And trying to make sure that all my readers came back by saying that I would post about happy things soon. One of those happy things was pink tutus.
And Joanna left this comment. I quote: “Um, pink tutus?”
And she has 4 daughters! If you’re wondering how a very small, very cute, very funny, and very intelligent lady got this far in life with 4 daughters and no knowledge of the miracles of pink tutus? Well. I just don’t even know what to say to that.
Okay. I guess I DO know what to say to that. Here goes…..
All things in life can be made better with pink tutus. It’s a universal rule like water is wet, wheels are round, and I have big feet.
No matter what horrors await you in life, pink tutus will make them all disappear.
No matter that disease and pestilence are on the horizon. Pink tutus will turn them into rainbows and snow-white kittens.
Know why?
Well, if you are fortunate enough to be a five-year-old little girl with blonde curls and chubby thighs, then you know what marvelous, stupendous, miraculous creation comes attached to pink tutus.
Ballerinas.
And if they are truly wondrous ballerinas, then the pink tutus will have sparkles glued to them.
And there will be lots and lots of twirling.
So.
Ballerinas.
Sparkles.
Pink tutus.
Twirling.
Get it now, Joanna?
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Olive Plants 
I am humbled by your infinite wisdom. I am not worthy to read your blog. I will head to the fabric store post haste and sew four, no wait FIVE – because we all know this will be a girl – pink tutus. Do you think the twirling does something like re-orient little girls’ brains? Sort of like the compass in our van. It gets confused and says “C” so we have to drive around in circles until it says a proper direction. Sort of like twirling for a little girl?
Oh pink tutus.
All I have is boys so only recently did I experience the magic that is pink tutus with little girls. (I had borrowed my nieces for a couple of days). The whole world seems a brighter place after a chubby ballet doesn’t it?
Instead I get dirt and dumptrucks, also magical but in weirder sort of way.
Dear Joanna,
Um, “C”?
Allison
That’s my point! I mean, which direction is “C” anyway. It gets lost. So we have to drive in circles…to make it figure it out…just like a little girl…twirling??? Get it? Makes sense? No? Okay…um, that wasn’t me. That was my evil twin.